Your Burnout Type...
You’RE emotionally exhausted…
This type of burnout flies under the radar perhaps the most.
Bored? I’m sure you know it. Overwhelmed? Know it. Tired AF? Damn right…you know it.
Emotional burnout is a sneaky, but debilitating, culprit. But, because of that, it’s sometimes the first and perhaps the most pervasive type of burnout we suffer from.
So, let’s get into it...
Emotional Burnout Resources:
Burnout, which whas been as officially classsified as a medical diagnosis by The World Health Organization (WHO) is officially associated with employment and has a component described as: “…increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism as a result of one’s job…” That right there is the emotional side of this burnout monster.
I designed this whole series and this quiz help you identify the type of burnout that is most pervasive in your life. For you, it’s the emotional side. Of all the types of burnout, this one flies under the radar perhaps the most. Bored? I’m sure you know it. Overwhelmed? Know it. Tired AF? Damn right…you know it.
Emotional burnout is a sneaky, but debilitating, culprit. But, because of that, it’s sometimes the most pervasive type of burnout we suffer from. When I was in graduate school, my first serious bout of burnout was emotional. I felt all those familiar feelings — emotional exhaustion, apathy, disengagement, hopelessness, feeling like a failure…and simultaneously being very confused about why all my accomplishments, accolades, achievements, etc. weren’t fulfilling me. That’s emotional burnout in a nutshell…and I’m stoked to give you some tools to navigate it.
Signs of emotional burnout:
Feeling like a failure or feeling hopeless. If you’re used to being a fulfilled person and you’re finding yourself struggling finding fulfillment or joy in these things anymore, you’re likely emotionally burned out. This can also show up as feeling ineffective - like you can’t produce results in your life. For achievers, this can make your confidence plummet, thereby affecting your self-worth.
Your performance is declining. If you see your performance at work (or in life) going down over time might indicate emotional burnout. When we’re emotionally burned out, we withdraw from our responsibilities and become less effective.
Your emotions feel like they’re all over the place. Do you ping-pong between anger, sadness, happiness, etc. Emotional exhaustion makes it so your emotions are more difficult to balance and maintain.
You feel down, apathetic, and unmotivated most of the time. Can turn into anxiety and depression.
Your social life is going downhill. If you’re pushing people away or you’re neglecting your typical social roles, you could be emotionally burned out. Burnout isn’t just a personal thing. It has huge effects on our interpersonal relationships either because of our sharp changes in mood or our detachment from our relationships.
You’re leaning on your numbing/coping mechanisms more than usual. Are you emotionally eating more? Drinking more? Watching more TV? We all have ways in which we numb. These methodologies give us some comfort, but when we’re under intense stress (bordering on burnout), we likely turn to these more.
You’re outlook is getting more negative, cynical, or pessimistic. This one is self-explanatory. Are you more negative than you were before?
Things to try to overcome emotional burnout.
Awareness is the first step. In fact, whether your burnout is the result of boredom, physical, or overwhelm, awareness is the first step. But, I think it’s particularly important here because emotional burnout can seem so innocent and “fictional” compared to the other types of boredom. But don’t we all know how important our mental health is nowadays? It may seem more innocuous because it’s not something we can see, but that doesn’t make it any less real. Emotional burnout is the same way. So, your first step is using the signs above to acknowledge your physical burnout.
Set boundaries to minimize your sources of burnout. Is your burnout a result of too many late nights at the office? A coworker that’s taking advantage of you? Being too available to your family? Being too on all the time? Set boundaries. Decide on a non-negotiable work black-out time at the end of the day. Determine what you want from this coworker and then tell him. Hell, decide what is your cut-off for when you’ll accept his calls/meetings/emails. With your family, tell them when you’re taking “mommy/daughter/sister” time and when you’re available. Establish downtime for yourself in the mornings and evenings. These are all great boundaries to set and great places to set boundaries…
To communicate boundaries:
Establish context. Communicate the situations and scenarios in which your boundary is being violated so that this person knows next time. “When ________ happens…”
Use “I” language. To avoid blaming, use I languages, specifically focusing on how you feel or your perspective on the situation. “I feel _________….”
Perspective-taking. Acknowledge their perspective and note that this may not have been your intention. For example, “I know this was not your intention…”
Make the ask. Communicate what your new boundary is. “In the future, I would appreciate ________…”
Take a time-out. And then take another. And time-out here can mean so many different things. It can mean a full-on vacation. It can mean a weekend away. It can mean a stay-cation. It can mean boundaries about when you put yourself on a “productivity time out”. It can be taking a break from always helping. It can be lots of things! All that matters is that you take “time out” often.
Note: Don’t neglect this one. I had a client who had to go on 3-week stress leave from her corporate job because she was so burned out. Forced time-off isn’t sexy. But know, it’s not going to be about taking one vacation. That’s not going to solve your issues. It’s going to be about regularly incorporating boundaries, trips, time-off, time away, and stay-cations into your life. Oh, and making this time laptop-free!
Control the controllables. I actually recorded a podcast on this very topic at the beginning of quarantine, but honestly? It applies anywhere, especially if you’re struggling emotionally. If so, you’re likely trying to exercise control where you ultimately don’t have any. Part of emotional awareness and boundaries is letting yourself set boundaries around the things that you try to control…
Prioritize time for your mental/emotional health. Self-care isnt’ just for physical burnout, it’s for emotional burnout too. But this self-care might look a little bit different. Instead of sleeping more, eating healthier, and drinking more water…it might be something different. It might be journaling, talking to a therapist, engaging in something creative, adult coloring or watercolor, positive affirmations, or setting positive goals. Mental and emotional self-care can look very different for different people. So, try experimenting with yours.
Connect with your most meaningful, positive relationships. What are your most meaningful, positive relationships? Are you actively engaging in them? For me, it’s my family and some of my close friends. Admittedly, there are season in my life where I don’t prioritize those relationships as much as I’d wish. But what if you don’t have those relationships…
Find new friends. Maybe you’re experiencing emotional burnout because you don’t feel like you have that support network you desire. Well, then maybe it’s time to build new relationships and friendships by expanding your social circle. I’ve had success joining Facebook groups or virtual summits in my areas of interest. I’ve also connected with many women who I’ve become close to via social media.
Do something meaningful (outside of work or inside).
Focus on finding value in your work. I’m sure there was a reason that you originally took your job. I’m sure it wasn’t just for the income opportunities and benefits. I’m sure there was more to it then that. So, what is the value? Do you give people entertainment during these uncertain + overwhelming times? Do you take the pressure of off people to have all the answers when it comes to their finances? Do you give people guidance in their relationships or diet? Do you help keep people safe on the road? There’s gotta be some deeper meaning. Take some time to try and find it…
Focus on volunteering. Maybe you’re struggling to find value in your work. That’s okay! There are other ways to find value in your life, and one way is through volunteering. Take a passion that you have and see if you can find a way to work some volunteering into your life…
Focus on a side-hustle. My foray into coaching started as a way to find more value in my life. I struggled to find it in my work and I wasn’t sure what volunteering I could do, so I started exploring a side hustle of coaching, and I found tremendous meaning- meaning that could be missing for you, too!
Focus on your creativity. I hinted at this in the mental/emotional health section above, but it’s just as important on it’s own. Finding a creative outlet can be an incredible step for your emotional burnout. I remember when I was struggling, one of the first things my coach recommended I find some new hobbies. So, I started experimenting with some of the hobbies that I’d also wondered about - hobbies like watercoloring, sketching, adult coloring books, learning a new instrument, learning a language, etc.
Try yoga, meditation, or journaling. These are all incredibly powerful practices for your emotional health. Meditation and yoga are great for helping you better cope with and manage your stress. They force you to slow down, take a few deep breaths, and calm yourself. Journaling? It gets you in touch with your emotions, your intuition, and yourself. It’s exactly what you need to learn your stress and emotional burnout triggers so that you can overcome them.
If your organization is emotionally burned out, honestly, the best thing you can do is to have tremendous amounts of compassion for those around you, share these tips and resources, and just be aware of the emotional burnout around you.
Questions/journal prompts to think about:
Do a braindump of all the negatives in your life and then do a braindump of all the positives
Write a letter to the person/situation/etc. that is stressing you out, burning you out, or overstepping your boundaries.
Find the silver-linings. Sit down and give yourself credit for everything you can think of for the week (no matter how small).
How do I feel about failure?
Do I have a growth mindset or a fixed mindset?
What has been on my mind the most lately?
Morning journal prompts to set your mindset for the day and help give you motivation:
What am I excited for today?
Who needs me at my best today?
Evening journal prompts:
What went well today? What didn’t go well? What can I do better?
Other things to try/consider:
Try therapy. One of the very first podcasts I recorded was called “The 4 People I Need in My Life” and a therapist is one of those people. I have had a handful of therapists over the years. I also find that I really get a great deal of benefit out of journaling as a form of therapy. But, if you find your need some extra accountability, I highly recommend starting with a therapist. I’ve used Talkspace in the past and would recommend it. Check out Talkspace here >>
Work with a coach to help you dig into the nitty-gritty stuff that’s going to help you make a change, as well as to hold you accountable. Cuz I’d hate for you to be in the same place you are now in a couple more years. Apply for a call here >>
podcasts to listen to:
“How to Step Up Your Boundary Setting” - here
“Airplane Mentality & Why You must Put Your Oxygen Mask On First” - here
Articles:
