#108 - How to STEP UP Your BOUNDARY Setting
Summary
If you've EVER felt like you're not making yourself a priority...OR the PEOPLE in your life are constantly over-stepping your boundaries...BUCKLE UP BABE!
In today's episode, you're getting a sneak peek into some never before seen content. Content that up until this point in my coaching business has remained exclusive to my premium clients. But I wanted to share this information with you. It's my 4-step system to identifying and communicating your boundaries.
Not only that, but I'm going to get raw and real about some very tangible examples from my life about how my boundaries were being violated...and I didn't even know it. I go over the hurdles of communicating boundaries, and that it was so hard but so damn necessary!
For show notes, head to coachellyn.com/podcast and, of course, if you have any questions or want to connect, head on over to @coachellyn on Instagram.
ACTION STEPS:
#1 - Listen to the negative emotions (anger, frustration, etc). If a situation triggers emotion - anger, frustration, or any other strong negative emotions - that’s a damn good indication that you have a boundary that’s being overstepped. You may not be able to articulate what th boundary is right away, but step one is paying attention to the feelings of anger and frustration to tell you that there is a boundary violation there.
#2 - Pay attention to the patterns and situations that are specifically triggering you. Eventually, you’ll start to pick up on what is pissing you off and making you feel disrespected. For me, it was realizing that people canceling plans last minute frustrated me and hearing my parents tell me to get a “real job” were the patterns that I picked up on and that started to indicate to me where my boundary was. The things you might look for is the environment and/or the language or phrases that are being said.
#3 - Figure out what you boundary is. What do you ultimate want in this situation? What is a tangible ask that you can make of them?
For me, in the “real job” situation, I realized that I didn’t care if they supported or understood it, but I did care that they respect my work and that they do so by never saying things to me like: “get a real job.”
#4 - Communicate that boundary. Boundaries don’t exist until you’ve communicated them. Basically, a person can’t respect your boundary if they dont’ know about it. So it’s super important to communicate it. This is obviously a touchy process and you’ll likely piss people off when you communicate that boundary, but it will get easier.
RESOURCES IN THIS EPISODE:
The TAKE BACK YOUR TIME Workshop Series - here
Grab your freebies to join the newsletter - here
Kacia’s Podcast Episode - #25 - “Taking Action & Making Moves in 2019”
The Academy is no longer running, but all the content from the Boundaries section of the Academy can be found here in the “Mini-Course”
