#59 - If you've ever needed to BORROW BELIEF...
In last week's episode, Tommy Baker gave an amazing activity and exercise. An exercise to get clear on how to make your biggest goals possible using - wait for it - advice from your future self! If you're someone who struggles with visualization it can be tricky. But even more so, it can be hard if you struggle with believing in yourself to achieve the thing that it is you want. When I did sit down and do this activity, it took a lot to get myself to that place. The place where I could really feel like my "future self" and to hear what that "future self" would say to me. And you know what the big takeaway was. Well, for that you'll have to listen.
In today's episode, we discuss the power of this activity, how I got into the place where I felt like I could give myself advice from the perspective of my "future self", and I also give you a sneak preview of the advice that my future self gave me in the form of an audio clip that I now listen to every morning. I hope it resonates and I hope that anytime you're struggling to find belief, that you can take the advice of my future self and borrow it.
WHAT I TALK ABOUT…
Last week’s episode with Tommy
Doing visualization-type activities and my tips for getting into that space
How sometimes we need to borrow belief from others
Resources in this episode:
Tommy’s podcast episode here
Book a transformation call here
Check out my brand-new free e-book on the “Top 10 tips to Take Back Your Life” here
00:12 hey everyone and welcome to the growth tribe podcast where we're all about growing ourselves to create lives we f'ing love on our terms. I'm Ellyn and I'm a former biomedical researcher turned coach who fell in love with personal growth when it empowered me to transform my health, quit my phd, travel the world and start my own business. But don't get me wrong, I'm still figuring my shit out too, and I am so pumped to share what I'm learning along the way. We've got amazing interviews, big stories, tricks and no bullshit action steps that we can all learn from. So with that, welcome to this episode of the growth track.
00:53 Today's episode is brought to you by transformational one on one coaching. If you've never tried coaching before, this is the way to start. One on one coaching is perfect for that person who knows that they've done all they can on their own and need something that's going to help them go to the next level. That's where one on one coaching can help. If that sounds like something that you'd be into had to coachellyn.com/1on1-coaching. With that, let's get to the show.
01:27 Hey friends. Okay. Well first off just welcome back. I'm pumped to have you back. And second of all, I am so pumped for the next round of interviews we've got coming in. I, let's just say I have badass individuals coming up the pipe for you guys to listen to and it is going to be epic. We kicked everything off last week, Tommy Baker and I really hope you had an opportunity to check out that podcast because today I'm actually going to be referring to an activity, an exercise that Tommy suggested at the end of his interview.
02:10 So really quickly to recap what that was is Tommy essentially said he wanted everybody to sit down with a journal and he wanted you to think about what is the biggest thing you want right now? What's your biggest goal that you have? And then he said, I want you to so you know something that you're going to accomplish in the next year. What's the big goal? The first place your mind goes. And he and I both emphasize this goal should be big. It should be audacious. It should be something that's a little scary that you know, maybe even something you're a little embarrassed to tell people. That's how big it should be.
02:47 So what's that goal? Where was the first place your brain went? And maybe you're thinking of it right now, maybe you didn't do the exercise before, but maybe you're thinking of it right now. So what's that goal for you?
02:58 And then he, he wants you to sit down with your journal and imagine that you are a year out. You're a year into the future. It's, you know, May, 2020 and he said, you know, think of future you, future you who has achieved the goal that you came up with in your head. So put yourself in that place, put yourself in that state where you're there, you're with future you. You are future you. And I want you to sit down. This is what he said. Sit down and essentially write like a letter to yourself of what do you think you a year from now, what advice would they give to where you're currently at? What would they tell you?
03:51 What would they tell you to focus on? What would they tell you to do? You know, what would the sage wisdom be from your future self who's achieved the thing you wanted? And well, we'll just say I was pumped when I heard this assignment. I was so inspired and though I didn't sit down immediately after Tommy and my interview after I listened back through it before I released it to you guys last week, oh you best believe that I sat down with my journal and I did this exact activity and let me tell you, I struggle with visualization. I really have to be in the right headspace to be able to do an activity like this. To sit down, to visualize, and to really get myself in that place where I can do something like this. And that was part of the advice that Tommy gave was, you know, be very, very diligent and very, very intentional about creating a space and an environment that allows you to get into this head space.
04:58 So I did. I was listening to, like I'm like a meditation playlist. I had my coffee. Um, it was fortunately a really, really beautiful morning here in the Pacific northwest and I had sun pouring in my window. And so I just sat and I started writing and I started writing. And the biggest thing that I left within that little passage that I wrote to myself, this little letter that I wrote to myself was belief, you know? Yeah. My future self gave me some advice. My future self told me some things that I should do. And actually it really wasn't, you know, the things that I thought it would be. I thought it would be strategic, you know, to do listy kind of things because that just tends to be how my brain works. Where are my achievers at? Enneagram type 3. What, what?
05:53 Um, well that's not actually what it was. It was a very, very different feedback that I got from my quote unquote future self. So, but the very, very last thing that I wrote about in this is essentially acknowledging the fact that it's sometimes going to be hard to believe that it's sometimes going to be hard to lean into the identity, to embody the identity of that future self that's done the thing that we want, the big scary thing. Sometimes it's hard to tap into the belief that you've done it, that it's possible.
06:39 And at the end of this little passage, which I'm actually going to share with you if you'll stick with me a little bit longer at the end of this passage, I wrote something that my coaches have told me in the past, that I've had great friends tell me. It was essentially this, "if you can't find the belief in yourself, borrow it. Borrow it from the people that believe in you. Borrow it from, you know the coach that you're working with. Borrow it from your therapist. Borrow it from your best friends, your family members. The people that support you relentlessly."
07:22 Because sometimes there will be moments along the journey where we can't find that belief within ourselves. So it's about borrowing it from the other people in our lives. And in this instance, because I was so able to, and this is very unlike me, so able to get to this place where I really felt like I was my future self.
07:45 And actually before we share the thing, I'll tell you what I did to get there. So I tried to think of, "okay, where would my future self be? If I've achieved this big goal that I have?"
07:58 And I'm not going to share my big goal with you because sometimes I feel like we get just as much, uh, satisfaction, just as much validation out of sharing our goals as we do from achieving them. So I'm not gonna share this goal with you because I want to keep it as mine. I want the validation in the fulfillment of achieving this goal to come when it's achieved. Not when I shared on my podcast. You know, so I'm going to keep what my goal to myself...
08:33 But I thought of what this goal would be. And then I thought, okay, a year from now if I have achieved this, what would my life look like? And I kind of tried to visualize, you know, what space would I live in? I have, um, a dream apartment and a dream apartment location that I really, really, really eventually want to live in. And I was like, "well, if I've got this dream, I'll be able to have that." So I started to visualize this apartment, what it would look like, what it would be filled with.
09:04 And the biggest thing I visualized is this apartment is on the water and I visualized this big long balcony with these great like sliding doors. It was like basically a big wall of windows. So it was this hugely well lit space with this incredible balcony. And I actually couldn't even see the view. I could just see light. I could just see that I have this amazing light out on the balcony.
09:35 And so I saw this space and then I saw kind of this me essentially walking toward me. Um, and like I said, I'm really not great at visualization, but periodically it clicks into place. Periodically, I'm in a space where I can. So I saw this person walking towards me and he was me and she kind of smirked at me. Like this little knowing smirk.
09:59 You know the snark that you hear from me on this podcast, she kind of had that emanating off her face. She smirked at me and then she kind of held out her hand and she walked me out to the balcony and I sat down in a chair on the balcony and then it was almost like she was going to sit in my lap, but instead of actually sitting on my lap, she meld it into me. So it was like her and I became one. It was like those weird Sci-fi thing happened. Maybe I've been watching a little too much Game of Thrones lately, but it was this weird, weird Sci-fi kind of thing that happened where we just became one person and I turned to my left and there was a journal and a table and I sat down and I started writing and this that I'm going to share with you now is what I wrote.
10:49 And I want you to pay attention to the end of it where I talk about borrowing belief. So I wanted to share with you how I got into the state in case it helps you to get into the state where you can do your own visualization, where you can do your own journaling to figure out what advice you would get from your future self.
11:10 And I understand that this a little woo, it's really not generally the type of content you hear on this podcast, right? But I want to share it with you anyway because I found this really, really powerful and I found that the advice that I had to give myself was also really powerful. And I wanted to share it with you because I think you might get something out of it.
11:31 So with that, we're going to move into the advice that I gave myself and how sometimes if we can't find the belief in ourselves, and this is the big takeaway, that we can borrow the belief. Maybe borrowing the belief is from the people around us and maybe the borrowing the belief is just from that version of us who's done the thing, who's achieved what we want to achieve. So let's get into it. Here is my little audio snippet that I hope will resonate with you. I tried to include the parts that were very general, but I hope it resonates with you. I hope you find it motivating and inspiring. So let's get into it.
12:19 Hey friend. You did it. You did the big scary thing of writing down and asking for what you want most in this world. You put it out there, you asked, and I'm so damn proud of you. I hope you can feel the hugs that I'm giving you. And let me just tell you, you do. You hit the goal. And I'm telling you this because I know you and I know that immediately upon writing that goal down, you went into strategic problem-solver mode, didn't you? I caught you, didn't I? Friend, I get it. You want to know the how. You want to know the game plan, the action steps, I get it. That's how your mind works. It gives you that comfort and that certainty, right? Friend, you don't need that. You don't need that because I'm sitting here and I'm telling you, you've done it. How doesn't really matter, right? Because you're here. Mission fucking accomplished. You've done it.
13:31 But, friend, you know what to work and not all the strategy because you already do that. How fucking great of news, right? You already do so much of the shit you need to be doing.
13:48 So here's my advice to you. Work what's between your ears. When those doubts come up, check them. Talk them down with all the reasons that they're wrong. When those fears come up, disempower them with all the epic Shit you've done and will do. When worry threatens to sabotage you, reign it in, because let's be real. Is worry productive? Is it going to help. Friend, you know this! Disempower that shit...
14:27 And let others help you along the way. Okay?
14:30 You're already stepping into your power. You're already embodying who you want to be, but how can you lean in even more? How can you embrace that? Even before I leave you to go get shit done in the way I know you're chomping at the bit for, I just want to remind you it's already happened. I'm proof this future version of you. I'm proof. I'm sitting here in the dream life you are aching for and I'm telling you it has fucking happened. Stop questioning. Stop planning and strategizing and just start believing. If you take anything from this, let that be it. Belief. Believe that this future is waiting for you. Tap into that intuition that I know you have because that's me. When you hear her chime in, know that's me guiding, helping you walk the path and if you ever lose belief, you can borrow mine. You can come back and sit with me on this balcony staring at our favorite view and I promise you, I'll always remind you.
15:56 So how was that? Was it a little weird? I actually recorded that really like right after I wrote it because how I tend to experience affirmations and stuff like that best is by actually listening to them in my own voice. So it's not the first time I've created some sort of thing that I've written for myself, whether it's an affirmation statement or this is kind of more like almost like a letter to myself that I record them. And instead of rereading my affirmations I'll listen to these recordings.
16:35 So I wanted to share that with you because for really for multiple reasons, I wanted to share it with you to inspire you to create your own. If you haven't actually done the activity that Tommy suggested, I highly recommend you go back to his episode. Um, just the last episode. So episode 58 go back to his episode and right at the end there before he talks about his new book, he gives this little activity. So I tried to recap it at the beginning of this for you, but if you want to hear it in his own words, go ahead and go back to episode 58 and check it out.
17:12 So I wanted to this to serve you, to inspire you to create your own and to really give you some tips for how I kind of got myself into the right state to do something like this. So that was one reason why I shared this with you. But the other reason is I really hope that there was something in there that resonated with you. I really hope that there was something in there that spoke to you.
17:38 You know, maybe it was the piece about always going back to strategy and having that kind of be the place you find comfort and certainty because holy shit is that where I thrive. Like I like to do lists. I like, you know, feeling like, you know, being productive, being effective. I like that it makes me feel like I'm succeeding. But if there's anything I've learned from the business, from the podcast and all the things that had been going on in the last year, it's that that's not always the most productive work. Sometimes the most productive work is taking the foot off the gas, stepping back, reflecting. So maybe that resonated with you.
18:20 Maybe it resonated with you, just the one line about leaning on other people. Actually shorten that section down because in my passage I talk about some of the specific people in my current life that I can lean on. Those people are obviously not people in your life as well. So I removed that to share that with you. But maybe that was the piece that resonated with you.
18:45 Or maybe it was the piece about borrowing belief.
18:49 Maybe this whole fricken thing resonated with you. Maybe we are just like magical twins. Uh, and maybe all of this really, really resonated with you. Well in that case, then listen to this, borrow this piece of audio, and when that future self is telling you, borrow my belief. Maybe that's the piece that you need to hear. Maybe that's the piece that you need to be reminded of.
19:23 I know this is very like unlike me and very, very different from a lot of the episodes I've released. But there's something about doing this activity and in doing this little future self work that really just like resonated and hit something within me that I really feel like I needed and I kind of wondered, well maybe you guys need it too.
19:48 So I wanted to share. I wanted to walk you through how I approached this activity that Tommy recommended in the last episode and I wanted to share with you the results of it because it's been powerful for me to listen to this every morning over the last week. And maybe it'll be something that's powerful for you too.
20:06 So with that, that's all I've got for you guys today. I hope that this resonated. I hope this wasn't too weird, but, um, if it was, we're going back to interviews next week. I've got another great one coming at you. In the meantime, thank you all so much for being here. Thank you for listening and once again, thank you so much being a part of the growth tribe!
20:34 Later guys!