#60 - Empowering Ourselves + Realizing that Maybe There's Nothing to Fix About You ft. Andrea Scher

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In this episode, we’ve got Andrea Scher. After sending her the most hysterical fan-girling video DM on instagram…she’s hear to have a beautiful conversation with us! Andrea is an artist, an online workshop teacher and a big believer in the transformative power of creativity as an intersection with personal growth.. Through her E-Courses; Mondo Beyondo and Superhero Photo, Cultivating Courage, and more, Andrea inspires women of all ages to live authentic, colorful, and creative lives. In today’s episode, we talk ALL THE THINGS, but mostly, we talk about empowering yourself through intentional practices of self-kindness, everyday courage, and really realizing that “what if there’s nothing to fix about you?” This was such an amazing conversation and I’m so happy to have connected with Andrea! Enjoy!

WHAT WE TALK ABOUT…

  • Choosing the practice path instead of the one you TRULY want

  • Asking yourself: “What if there’s nothing to fix about me?”

  • Adopting new identities in life

  • Choosing the empowering perspective

  • The power of “just begin”

  • Putting out there into the world what you want to see

  • Small acts of courage and leaning into the lesson of life

Resources in this episode:

Book a transformation call here

Join the Growth Tribe Academy or learn more here

Follow Andrea Scher - Instagram and website

Books and resources… “My Grandfather’s Blessings” by Rachel Naomi Remen here and “Kitchen Table Wisdom” by Rachel Naomi Remen here

Transcript

Ellyn: 00:01 Hey everybody and welcome back to the growth tribe podcast. I'm pumped today because I have one of the first interviews of people that I kind of stalked on Instagram. Andrea Scher, welcome to the growth Tribe podcast.

Andrea: 00:13 Oh my goodness. Thank you. You are so cute. Um, I have just say you just totally wooed me with your enthusiasm and adorableness you sent me a video message via Instagram and so anyone who wants to seduce someone on Instagram should do do it that way. It really works.

Ellyn: 00:34 I felt so goofy afterward. I was like okay maybe that was really, really awkward, but I just kept like, and you guys already heard about this in the intro, but I just kept seeing your hundred days project and your affirmations cards and I was just like, this resonates with me so hard. I need to reach out to this girl.

Andrea: 00:51 Well, I'm so glad to hear that. Thank you.

Ellyn: 00:54 Of course. Of course. Yeah. We're, we're so happy to have you here and I feel like everybody's going to get so much out of, well, you have to offer, I spent vastly too much time on your website, so I'm super excited to get into it. But before we do, could you kind of just zoom out a little bit and kind of give us a little bit of your story just so people kind of know where you're coming from?

Andrea: 01:15 Yes. So let's see. Um, well I've been an artist my whole life. I've been a creative creature my whole life and you know, but academically, and you know, just in school, I really wasn't planning on going down that track at all. I got a degree in business economics in college and was going this very sort of like whatever my parents told me to do kind of route. And you know, I knew that it really wasn't in alignment with my spirit, but it didn't really bother me I think until I graduated from college and I did this, uh, like weekend long workshop, like self empowerment workshop. And somehow in the throes of those three days, I remembered my artist self and decided, oh my God, like I can't not live out that, that part of my, that part of my path or that part of my spirit anymore. And I started painting, I started painting for the first time since I was probably 10 years old. And um, I had just recently moved to New Orleans and nobody knew me there. So it was this incredible opportunity to totally switch into this other identity because nobody had laid claim to sort of who I was or related to me in any particular way. And so when people would ask me, oh, hey, like what do you do?

Andrea: 02:39 I'm like, oh, I'm a painter. And I just started saying I'm a painter even though I'd been painting for like three weeks weeks. And it's amazing what happens when you declare something like that and just start living into something like that. It's like literally creating your life in real time. And it was so interesting because literally within a few months I think of living there, I met this woman in line at the, like the Kinko's copy center and I was photocopying my paintings and cause this was before we all had scanners or the internet or anything like a, their color copying my, she was like, Ooh, what are you doing? And I told her, I'm a painter and I'm, you know, I'm going to show my work in Jackson Square, which is this like place where all the artists collected. And she's like, well I'm a writer for the New Orleans Times Picayune and I'm a journalist.

Andrea: 03:36 I want to do a piece on you. And so before I knew it, it was on the cover of like the Sunday New Orleans Times Picayune as like my paints herself. And it was so as reflected back to me in this really powerful way. And I was like, wow, you can make this shit up. You can just say I'm an artist. And the world sort of follows suit. It's pretty cool.

New Speaker: 03:59 Oh my gosh, we are twins. I don't know if you know quite know this.

Andrea: 04:04 Tell me.

Ellyn: 04:06 That's exactly what it was like for me. Like growing up, I was, you know, I was doing, I wasn't painting, I'm not artistic in that sense in any way, shape or form. Um, but I was doing so much music like I did, I'm musical theater and all of this stuff. And yet it never occurred to me that that is something that I would ever do professionally.

Ellyn: 04:26 And so I got the practical degree just like you did. And it really wasn't until, um, gosh, I was in graduate school and people had started to tell me, you're so creative, you're so creative. Um, you know, my, my, like I got into health and fitness coaching when I was in graduate school and my coach was telling me, you're such a creative person. And it was like all of a sudden over those couple of years I started realizing, oh my God, I am a creative person. Um, and yeah, that may not be what I do has like any sort of career now, but like I've embraced it in a completely different way. That's awesome. Oh Huh. Yeah, I was like, like as you were saying that all I was kind of thinking, yeah, yeah. That was, that was me too, like not embracing this part of my identity.

Ellyn: 05:12 And then with, um, when I started coaching, it was a matter of just deciding, okay, I'm going to be a coach. And I started telling people I was a coach and all of a sudden that's how people identified me when I went on a traveling experience, they were like, oh, you're the girl who's a coach. And I'm like, yeah, I decided that like a week ago.

Andrea: 05:29 Oh my God. I love that. It's so true. And of course, you know, you back it up with the actions that you're taking and the way that you're being in the world. Like the more I said I'm a painter, like I decided that the definition for me of like the definition of an artist was like, you know, it's someone who makes things. So a painter is someone who paints things and I was painting every day. So I thought, okay, well that's a pretty accurate description of what I do at the moment.

Speaker 1: 05:57 Um, so yeah, so it's not just smoking mirrors there. There's a way that we're telling ourselves a story all the time about who we are and getting conscious about the story that we're telling. And is it the story that we want to step into or is it some old story? Um, we get to choose.

Ellyn: 06:16 It's almost like a question of identity, right? Like, yeah, I was talking to one of the very, actually the first podcast interview I ever did was with a friend of mine and we were talking about like, at what point can you start to call yourself these things? Like she started training for half marathon. She's like, at what point can I start to call myself a runner? At what point can I start to call myself a coach or, you know, a musician. And I love that your kind of perspective on that is create your own definition of when you can.

Andrea: 06:47 Right.

Ellyn: 06:47 So Powerful.

Andrea: 06:48 But yeah, because we limit ourselves, right? Like I'm not a real artist. I'm not a real writer. I'm not a real whatever, real runner because I haven't done x, y, z. And it's like, is that true? Is that empowering? Is that the most empowering definition of what it is to be a writer? Like someone who's published a book, like I've been publishing a podcast for, I mean a podcast, a blog for 16 years. I've written a lot, but I probably would say, oh no, I'm not a real writer because, you know, cause I've made up some story about how I have to have like a bestselling book or something. Oh yeah. It's just great to play with that. Right.

New Speaker: 07:25 Yeah. So true. So true. And I feel like, did you ever, as you were kind of making this transition from practical degree to, Oh, I'm going to, I'm going to now paint and I'm going to call myself an artist. Did you ever feel like those two identities, if you will, were in conflict?

Andrea: 07:44 Hmm. No. Um, I don't, I think how I, where I sort of landed with it is like, Oh, I'm a lucky artists because I have the left brain thing. Like I can, you know, I'm not afraid of those more left brain tasks. And my right brain is like fully in flight, fully formed and fully like present. So I just felt lucky like, oh wow. Like not all artists can like run the business of art because they don't have that part as developed. Um, so I think that's how I, I sort of married the two.

Ellyn: 08:27 Ah, I love that. Seriously, where were you when I was in graduate school? That's cause that's what I struggled with is I felt like can I be these two things simultaneously? And it is really so much more empowering and I love that you used that word before to describe that. It's so much more empowering to think of as no, these compliment each other. They're not in conflict with each other.

Andrea: 08:51 Yes. And I think that brings me to this other concept that I love to share. And I think it was one of the cards that I wrote that you saw on Instagram is this idea of like, well this idea first that there's like, what if there's nothing to fix about you? Right? So like what if, what if like the ways that you're kind of quirky or not conventional or quote unquote flawed are actually the things that make you interesting and unique and give you a unique voice in the world.

Andrea: 09:25 Right. And one of the ways that I started exploring that is, so I'm, I'm someone who's sort of the epitome of like multi-passionate I'm interested in lots of things. Like someone asked me what I do and I sort of cringe because I'm like, oh, what version of that story do I say?

Ellyn: 09:42 I'm sorry, I've got to pause you right there. Just a second. Cause Imy friend said something akin to that. At one point, um, somebody asked her what she does and she said, you're going to have to be more specific. I do a lot of things.

Andrea: 09:55 Ooh, that's an empowering way to respond.

New Speaker: 09:59 Right?! Shout out to you Kathleen.

Andrea: 10:01 I love that. Yeah, because I think the old school like you know, generations before, it's like you did one thing and you did it your for your whole life and if you did more than one thing then you were flaky or all over the place or a master of none. Right.

Ellyn: 10:19 So true.

Andrea: 10:20 Yeah. So I think there was, um, there was sort of a holdover of that belief system in me. And so I would be embarrassed when someone asked me like, what do you do? And I'm like, well, I'm a jewelry designer, but I've also, you know, I, I read a blog and at the time, you know, that I was still a jewelry designer and my, my blog was really huge. Like it was a huge part of my life. And, and I was also, you know, a creativity teacher and she's also a painter. And I was also, you know, like 25 I was a coach, you know, it's like, so at some point a coach that I was working with said, oh, you're a feaster. And it was like, Ooh, I like that. What does that mean?

Ellyn: 10:59 You should have seen my face. I just perked up.

Andrea: 11:02 She said, you want to feast at the, at the buffet of life, you want to taste everything. You don't want to just come to the buffet and take one thing and go sit down. You want to try everything. And he was like, Ooh, that's such a beautiful reframe. And to use that word again, empowering. So much more empowering. Right. Some of us are feasters and we don't want to do just one thing and you know, be masterful at it. We want to do a bunch of things and be great at them, you know?

New Speaker: 11:35 Oh, a thousand percent I feel like that's part of why I vibed with you on Instagram is because I saw that in you and I feel that as well. I always felt so, so almost pigeon holed before when I was walking my career path is I had all these other things that I wanted to do. Like I was a musician. I love to write, like, I mean, not be great at it, but I still love to do it. Like our periodically bust out a sketchbook, contrary to the fact that I really am not the best drawer or any in the world. I just, I like to dabble in all of these things. And that was part of what kept me on the career path that I was in. So I was doing research, I was in biology and, and getting my actually was in a phd program because I'm an Uber nerd. Um, but I was doing all of these things and yeah, I just felt so, so pigeonholed by all of it. And I felt like I couldn't leave because if I left that would mean I was flaky and that would mean I was irresponsible.

Ellyn: 12:37 So like for you, it seems like you were able to adopt some of these new passions and new pursuits relatively easily, and because you had this empowering perspective of know these things compliment each other. So what if you're someone who struggles with that struggles to just kind of all of a sudden call themselves an artist or a coach, what would you say to that person?

Andrea: 13:01 Mm, well I think the first step is like examining like what is my story about what a coach is or what a real coaches or what a real writer is, are a real artist is, and really challenged that and be like, okay. It's like is it true that a real artist is someone who shows their work in galleries, is a real artist, someone who shows up to the canvas and is brilliant every time and just it flows. And to get realistic about that, because I think any artist will tell you that, you know, nine times out of 10 they show up to the canvas and they're not super satisfied with which one with what comes through.

Andrea: 13:41 Yeah, right. I was really liberated. I remember my boyfriend from high school was a photographer and ended up becoming a very, like a professional photographer. And so he was always my go to for photography questions and I remember and I, so I held him as like the technical expert. And I remember showing him, this is back in the print days, I had gotten back this role of 36 prints and I only liked, you know, maybe five or 10 of them. And he was complimenting me on all these great shots and I was like, I only got like five or 10 shots that I like. And he's like, Andrea, if I get one out of a role of 36 I feel satisfied. I feel like it was a job well done. And so it's like really just, you know, sometimes we just make things up about what's true and we don't know that we've made something up.

Andrea: 14:38 Um, so that's, that would be like step number one, right? And then ask, okay, well in a world where we're making things up, what can I make up that would feel the most empowering to me? So if you make up, okay. A coach is someone who goes deep with people and encourages them and inspires them and uplifts them as much as possible in every conversation that they have with me. You know, then by that definition, like maybe you don't call yourself a certified coach or a professional coach or whatever, but like, you know, you just, you just find some sort of sweet spot where you can step fully into it in a really powerful way and still feels true. This isn't like, again, like, this isn't smoke and mirrors. This isn't lying. This isn't deceiving yourself or anyone else. Right. It's just a powerful reframe.

Ellyn: 15:34 I love that. And it really came back to the like, you got to define it for yourself.

Andrea: 15:39 Yeah. Because you probably already have...

Ellyn: 15:44 Yeah. Oh my gosh. Seriously. If I went back into some of my journals, I'm sure I've defined all of these things for myself years and years and years ago. So true.

Andrea: 15:54 Right? I mean, writers would probably, I mean, as someone like Anne Lamott would probably say a real writer is someone who shows up every morning and writes really badly, right?

Ellyn: 16:05 Yes, yes. So true. It's like my, when my friend and I were having that conversation about identity, like she was, the conclusion we ultimately came to was the fact that if you put on your shoes and go outside and go for a run, you're a runner, you bust out your journal and sit down and write or write on your blog or wherever it is that you write, you're a writer. Like I feel like we get in our culture, or maybe with all of these influences we have, we seem to think that to assign any sort of identity to it, that we have to be doing it professionally or we have to be making some sort of income from it. Right? Yeah. I feel like we're going to stage know now where that's not really true anymore. You can start to call yourself these things. Like you can have an Instagram account and call yourself a photographer.

Andrea: 16:53 Yeah, absolutely.

Ellyn: 16:57 Oooo that's empowering...

Andrea: 16:59 Yeah. And, and once again, like not to, you know, put too fine a point on it. But I think the more we speak it into being, the more it actually shows up in 3D reality. Right. That's sort of my spiritual perspective on it as well. It's like you get aligned with it and the energy of it, you speak it and it's somehow appears in in the 3D world...

Ellyn: 17:26 Is this kind of what inspired the hundred days project?

Andrea: 17:30 Ooh, let's see here. No, but let me think what did inspire the hundred days and...

New Speaker: 17:34 I was like, are you putting all of these things into the world intentionally or no, you know?

New Speaker: 17:40 Okay, this is what inspired the hundred days project. I, you know, every year on Instagram I see people do the 100 days project and I'm like, damn, I wish I could do the 100 days project. I wish I had my shit together. And I did that because that seems so awesome. And I had that thought yet again another year and it was the first day of it. And I thought, what if I just, I've been writing on these index cards, um, for a long time and actually I'll back up at some point and tell you that whole story of like why I started writing on the index card. Okay. Okay. I'm just gonna do it.

Speaker 1: 18:14 I could write on an index card each day for 100 days. So I'm just going to sit down and I'm going to have it be my, my sort of morning spiritual practice where like I see what comes through. I see what does my spirit needed to hear today and let it come from the ethers, not necessarily from my brain or my intellect. Right. And these are like little downloads that are coming to you? Yes. Okay. So I tune in and I wait. And then that first day it was like just begin and was like, oh, okay. Yeah, just begin. And so that was the first one. And then I wrote, you know, that sort of met a story about how I've been watching people do these projects over the years and I've always wanted to, and then I realized it's just a matter of deciding that you're going to do it today and you, you're gonna put your hat in the ring or you're going to step in and participate. Like that's how you get to belong to that club.

Ellyn: 19:12 Yeah. And I feel like with like related to that is, it's almost like you posted one at one point at which I feel like is probably my favorite one. And I always come back to it about how you weren't expecting perfection out of yourself with this whole project and how you miss some days and that that was okay.

Andrea: 19:33 Yeah, exactly. Because I know myself and I know other people, I've coached enough people to know that if we, if we think we've blown it at some point, then we're going to quit and we're not going to go back to it. So if I decide again, like these stories that we make up that we're not always conscious of, if I've decided that by missing a day or two even that I've blown it and I'm going to quit the a hundred day project cause I, I blew it, then that's not sustainable.

Speaker 1: 20:07 So I knew I had to give myself permission to miss as many days as I wanted or needed to. I mean, I think of miss like I'll be 14 days or 15 days at this point. I've missed a lot of the days and I'm like, whatever. I'll go back to it. You know, maybe it'll take me 365 days to do 100 of those notes. I don't really care. But if I put myself under that pressure, um, it's not sustainable and I just won't do it at all.

Ellyn: 20:36 Yeah, I mean I got my start in health and fitness coaching and I ran into that same kind of mindset so often with the people that I was trying to help. They just wanted to get healthier and they seem to think that like, and how many of us run into this still with our, our health ope, I had, you know, one piece of cake that was too big or I had a few too many glasses of wine. I failed. And so I'm just going to stop trying. And as cliche as it is, that whole notion that the only time you fail is when you quit is so, so true.

Andrea: 21:14 So true.

Ellyn: 21:17 And I love like, I love that your perspective on this and it kind of looped back that whole you're defining how this process is happening. You decided, Kay, I'm going to do this cool thing and I'm going to let myself do it. And if it takes 365 days, so be it, but I'm just going to do it. Yeah. And I feel like that's the powerful piece of it is just sometimes just starting and who gives a crap about the how, who gives like who, who gives a shit about how it gets done or what the ultimate process is of achieving it. Yeah, exactly.

Andrea: 21:53 I'll share. So this is a fun story. So have you ever heard of um, wds world domination summit with Chris Guillebeau by chance? Oh yes, I have vaguely, but yes, I have. Okay. So is this conference and the first time he ran it, um, I spoke at it with my collaborator at the time and we decided, so we were doing a talk about, uh, an ecourse that we had created together called Mondo Beyondo and this...

Ellyn: 22:22 I love that name. Can I just say that?

Andrea: 22:25 It's a good one. Yeah. So this was an ecourse about manifesting big dreams and we created Mondo Bianco lists and all that kind of stuff. Um, all of my coaching work kind of being informed by that. And we decided when we were having this talk for 45 minutes and I wanted it to feel like a workshop and really, um, people participating fully and not just us lecturing and stuff.

Ellyn: 22:55 Especially at a summit like that, like getting that engagement just wakes people back up.

Andrea: 22:58 Absolutely right. No one wants to be lectured to. Oh my God. And we decided as like a gift to everybody. We were going to handwrite these, a note to every single person in the room. So they're going to be 500 people in this. And we were going to, you know, sort of, I'm putting in air quotes but like channel a note for each of the 500 people. I'm trusting that exactly. The right person was going to sit in the right chair that we had like already pasted the note underneath the chair and um, they were going to get this like love note, this special message just for them. And we did it. It was quite a feat. I mean we spent, we were up to like 2:00 AM every night trying to get these done before the time we had to give our talk. But we did it.

Andrea: 23:48 And people, you know, it's, it's, it's more than a decade later and people still have these notes. Like people still tell me, I still have made x card and this is what it meant to me. This is what was going on in my life and this is how that note really spoke to me. And so amazing. I mean we got like a standing ovation at the end of this talk because of those notes. And I think, you know, what do I want to say about that? Um, I think a lot of this stuff is just really universal and so as much as we were, you know, channeling it or whatever, I think also it's just like there's just something so universal and common, um, about who we are as human beings and what we go through, what we worry about. And um, and speaking to that and people feeling that resonance is, um, it's so powerful and beautiful.

Andrea: 24:43 And so that was now as part of the inspiration for the notes as well. It's like if this is what I need to hear today, then you probably need to hear it too.

Ellyn: 24:53 Mm. Yeah. I think what, like some of the things that you've chosen and like for, for you guys listening, I'll, I'll read off a couple of, a couple of them are like, "Turn on the Faucet."" That one always makes me giggle and like "this is a sign" and stuff. They are, I mean, obviously they have a meaning to you, but I think what's so beautiful about them, and it's kind of reminds me of, you know, um, if you have like a, what are they called? I'm not a big horoscope person, but like if you have a horoscope or do you have like one of those mystic Monday, like Tarot card kind of apps on your phone. Those kind of... it just kind of reminds me of that because those are so general, but they're also so applicable to I can fill them with my stories.

Andrea: 25:38 Yeah, exactly.

Ellyn: 25:41 And that's, I think that's what's powerful about this as a practice and the fact that you're, you're sharing it, you really are giving people what they need. I mean, maybe turn on the faucet, somebody can literally mean to turn on a faucet. Uh Huh. Maybe it just means to like open themselves up. Yeah. Whatever they're resisting.

Andrea: 26:00 Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I love that. Um, I ultimately want to make a deck out of them so that it's, you know, this sort of serendipitous thing where you get to, you know, kind of do what I, what I have been doing it just like, okay, what is my spirit need to hear today? And then just pull one randomly and then, you know, have some sort of story attached to it from my life or what it means to me. And um, yeah, it's really sweet. It's also been fun to just have a practice. Like, even though I don't do it every single day just to, to have this really consistent practice. [inaudible]

Ellyn: 26:40 Is that had been your favorite part about it so far? What's been your part about doing this hundred days project so far?

New Speaker: 26:46 Oh, I think my favorite part is hearing people's feedback. It's so fun, right? I mean not to make it all about that, but it's like, it's so fun for people to resonate with it and be like, oh my God, thank you. This is what this means to me. And, um, and I think the feeling of that is connection. Um, that's like soul food for me is, is that kind of connection [inaudible]

Ellyn: 27:12 I completely agree with it. Like I've never done something quite like this, but you know, it's those moments when you share something that's, that's personal or vulnerable on, on social media. Like I know social media can get a bad rep, but like there have been moments when I've shared, I don't know, maybe it was like a body image struggle or an insecurity I was having about walking a new path or I dunno, I moved back in with my parents earlier this year because I just got home from traveling like these insecurities and then having people come back to you and be like, thank you, I needed to hear this because I'm going through exactly the same thing.

Andrea: 27:50 Yeah, exactly. Oh yeah. I love that.

Ellyn: 27:55 It's such a beautiful point of connection. It's so true. Beautiful. Well thank you for sharing that. I love the hundred days project, so I'm glad we were able to talk about that.

Andrea: 28:05 Um, yeah, thank you.

Ellyn: 28:07 A big part of kind of, kind of pivoting and we've been talking about empowerment and making sure we're kind of having empowering definitions and empowering ourselves to take on our multiple passions if we decide to. And so much about how you have seem to empower people on your website is to have people live a superhero life. I love that. On your website. Um, I what did it say? It said, um, no capes. Just courage. Yeah. So what does that mean to you? Like how did, how did that come to be?

Andrea: 28:43 So, okay. So the superhero thing came to be because an old friend of mine, uh, he and I gave each other superhero names and we would only address each other by our superhero names. And when we'd go to a restaurant, those are the names that we would use to like put in and, um, or if you're here on name. Well, he called me dre. Okay. Dre was my superhero name with him since then. Um, for some reason the name z z e e comes, comes through as my superhero name. And, um, I w w w. Okay. So, let me just tell you a very quick sidebar that no, no, this is good. Um, you're getting a sense of how my brain works. Um,

Ellyn: 29:33 I love it. I literally was doing an Instagram live like earlier this morning and I saw a dragon fly outside of my window and went on a complete tangent about dragon flies.

Andrea: 29:42 Yeah. Yeah. This is, this is the, the right brain world we're in. Okay. Okay. So I was doing a course, um, about cultivating everyday magic cause that's another one of my passions. And in this course I was giving my students this assignment of uh, creating their superhero name and then using it at the cafe like Starbucks or whatever you like give their name and it's just sort of this fun like mischievous thing. Like I always feel a little nervous when I do it. Like my name is Z and they're like, okay, z. And they've never like even bat an eye. But for me it's like this thrill to like see it on the side of the cup. And so it was writing out this whole lesson and I thought, I wonder what Z me. And it's like, is there any sort of, you know, meaning behind this word or anything like that? So I googled it and they said, you know, there's a superhero that sometimes goes by the name Z. And I'm like, oh my God, that's so weird. There's actually a superhero with that name. And then it went deeper and it was like this character that it ended up in this graphic novel and like the fifties or sixties or something, and her name was Zatana Zatara, and she sometimes went by Z and I was like, wow, okay, that's interesting. Then I go a little deeper and I, I find out that the superpower of this character's Zatana Zatara is everyday magic.

Ellyn: 31:09 What?

Andrea: 31:10 Yes. Isn't that weird and cool. And I was like, Whoa, that's kind of my super power. Like I've got to be super powers, but that's one of the top three. So anyway, so that's fun and serendipitous and exciting.

Ellyn: 31:27 I'm like freaking out for you. That's so cool. I want a superhero name now!

Andrea: 31:35 Right?! You got to think of your superhero name and then use it at the cafe tomorrow, Marsha, for sure. Okay. Um, so at that time though, it was really a way for this friend Peter and I, we were kind of calling up our bravest, why is this self so like I remember I was doing, um, my first like one woman show as a painter and he was in la and I was in San Francisco and he couldn't make it, but he called me beforehand and he's like, okay, dre, do you have your Cape on? And I was like, oh no, I don't know if my Cape on, you know, so it was her pretending to go get my cape. Yeah. Okay. I'm back. I've got my cape on and he's like, okay, dre, just remember every single person that shakes your hand tonight is going to be transformed by you because they got to meet you.

Andrea: 32:28 And it was just so sweet, but it was just like, he was just really like just kind of really kind of, I dunno like pumping me up or um, just having really step into my superhero self. And so when I started my website that was a jewelry site initially I had been making these like big Chunky, colorful chokers made out of like vintage glass and vintage lucite. And I thought, Oh, if I was a superhero that's the kind of necklace I would wear, I should call them superhero necklaces. And then these necklaces can kind of represent that bravest wisest self that you can call on. And so that's sort of the metaphor that I started working with. And then when I segwayed into being more of a life coach and a blogger and, um, less of like a jewelry artist, it still worked. It still made sense as this metaphor.

Andrea: 33:25 And then the no capes, just courage is really like, it's not about these huge acts of courage or these huge feats where, um, we have to do something spectacular. It's really just like the tiny ways that were, we choose to be brave in like this really every day kind of thing. So like you're at the, you know, you go see one of your favorite authors speak at the bookstore and you have a question during the Q and a, but you're nervous to raise your hand. And so it's like you're brave move is to raise your hand and ask the question and put your voice in the, in the space, in the mix, that kind of stuff.

Ellyn: 34:05 Oh, like every day courage.

Andrea: 34:08 Everyday courage. Exactly.

Ellyn: 34:11 I love that. I have a, I have a friend who she always says you got a dare daily.

Andrea: 34:16 Hmm. That's good.

Ellyn: 34:17 Yeah. And I feel like, so what are, so I love this every day. Courage, no capes. I'm totally going to come up with my superhero name and I will report back to you when I figured out what it is. I'm, so what would your top tips be to someone to go out and live their version of a superhero life where they're engaging in that every day? Courage. What would be your top people, you know?

Andrea: 34:43 Okay. So this is also interesting. So I'm doing a big rebranding of my website and um, so I've been really zooming back and looking at my business that I've been doing for 20 years. I've had this business online and I'm letting go of the whole name Superhero life...

Ellyn: 34:59 Oh really?!

Andrea: 35:00 Yeah. So you know, I think by this summer, um, my site will actually just be my name Andrea Scher and it's going to be a little bit different. And I still love the superhero metaphor and I still stand behind it. But I think the energy of Superhero was a lot more like around my twenties and thirties where it was like go for it and big dreams and be brave and step out and stretch yourself. And now, you know, I'm getting closer to 50, I'm in my late forties and my life like that sort of, um, that message doesn't resonate the same way. And so courage for me now is like a quiet or deeper kind of thing, which is like, not necessarily like go for your big dreams and go, go, go and like very visible and out there. It's a lot more internal. It's a quieter thing. It's a, it's a more vulnerable thing. It's like courage to me now is like having like getting triggered in relationship for example, and like having the courage to move toward myself with so much compassion and kindness and have my hand on my heart and close my eyes and being like, oh sweetheart, like how are you? Like what do you need? And I've got you. And stuff that like kind of made me cringe, you know, a decade or so ago, even though I've been in the personal growth world for a long time. Um, so I think that there's like a transformation in that. I want to honor, I think with the rebranding and the sort of like letting go of that metaphor. Um, yeah. So there's good stuff brewing over here.

Ellyn: 36:53 I'm so excited and seriously as you said, like putting your hand on your heart and turn yourself compassion. I literally did put my hand on my heart like right before you said that. Yeah. I think that's so true. I think self compassion is one of my favorite things to teach people.

Andrea: 37:10 Yeah. It's huge. I mean, that's one of the things I really learned from Brene Brown who I'm sure you're familiar with.

Ellyn: 37:17 I love her. I'm obsessed with her.

Andrea: 37:20 Yeah. Right. We all are. So I met her about 10 years ago. We were a part of a, uh, group of creative women that would go on these retreats in, in, on the coast of Oregon every summer. And so I, I started working with, um, learning about shame resilience and like, where is my self talk really sort of shame based and how can I transform that and be a lot more kind to myself and, um, and it was really life changing and it's, it's taken a while, but the, the, the way that I relate to myself and with so much self love, so much kindness, it's astounds me. I never thought I would get to this place where I could love myself in that particular way. Um, and so yeah, I think I'm, I'm really passionate about, um, you know, where at one time I was just like, I want you to achieve your dreams and dream big and go for it.

Andrea: 38:19 Now I'm like, I don't really care if you achieve your big dreams. I want you to learn how to relate to yourself with so much love and kindness so that you can relate to others with that much love and kindness.

Ellyn: 38:32 Oh, that's so beautiful because I don't really think you can. I don't think you can be compassionate to others if you, if you can't be compassionate to yourself, like truly, like maybe, maybe you can on some level you can, you know, you can listen and you can hear, but if you're judging yourself or maybe some of the same things. Exactly. Really, really hard to share that with other people...

Andrea: 38:56 It's so true. Right. So it's not about being perfect in that way and not judging anyone ever, but it's about having this practice of noticing like, Oh wow, I'm really judging that person or I'm having a hard time moving toward that person because they're abrasive or they're, you know, annoying or whatever it is about them and noticing, oh, I can't move toward that part in myself either. Right.

Ellyn: 39:22 [inaudible] yeah. I feel like there's, there's a lot to be learned about how, how do we respond to our environment? How do we respond to the people in our environment? And kind of, it's interesting because I feel like you can be very, very self critical doing that. But I think you can also, if you approach it in the right way, you can be really, really aware. You can develop an incredible level of awareness.

Andrea: 39:46 Yeah. Well, in going back to that thing, you did so naturally, right? You touched you, you put your hand on your heart. Um, that practice alone is life changing. Um, like when I have my coffee each morning, I'm not great at meditating for long periods of time, but I sit, I closed my eyes, I put my hand on my heart, and it's this like, well, I think the somatic sense of touching your body is really powerful. And there's something that just feels inherently kind about it. And then, and just sort of gently checking in, like, where am I at today? What's going on for me? And it's like, okay, I'm good. Or like I feel this sort of ambient anxiety and then get curious about it. Like, okay, what's that? Okay, you're worried about money. Okay, cool. All right, well this is what we're going to focus on this morning. That we're going to look at this, that and the other and see what we can handle so that we can calm that part of us down. And I say us like, because there's this whole team of people to relate to. Um, yeah, I think it's a beautiful practice and it's really vulnerable. So if you're cringing it's probably because it's a vulnerable and necessary for you.

Ellyn: 40:59 I'm actually so happy you said that because I talk a meditation all the time. I started meditating about a year ago and it's become only, probably recently much easier and much more natural for me to meditate. But I have so many friends that are resistant to it and I love that you just gave that little practice. Yeah, right there. Yeah. Cause it could be like two minutes, one minute, 30 seconds. Yeah. Cause that kind of connection to self, that's what meditation gives me. Exactly. Oh that is beautiful. I love that. And Yeah. Are you with Kristen Neff's work?

Andrea: 41:35 Yeah, I love her. Yes. Yeah.

Ellyn: 41:38 I actually just taught self compassion from like how she frames it to some of my clients. Um, and she, she says I'm at one point kind of how she shows self kindness is by just like stroking her hand and how there's a biological thing that happens when you do that. When you, when you touch your arm or if you put your hand on your heart, it releases oxytocin. Yeah. So there's my science nerd moment of the day.

Andrea: 42:04 Yeah. I love that. You know, I think I do something like that in my life. Hard, harder moments. Um, I sometimes like stroke my own hair and it's like, it's like I'm mimicking like this, like very maternal, you know, like really? Yes. Really like sweet and old kind of gesture of like some kind of comfort that I used to get. And Yeah. And I think it's hard for us to admit that we're such sensitive, tender creatures. And so we try to just press on and the truth is like if we can bear it, we can cultivate a capacity to do that, to work for like for ourselves and, and then it gets easier and easier and the resistance kind of goes down.

Ellyn: 42:59 Oh yeah. I think that's so, so true. Wow. I got chills on that one.

Andrea: 43:05 Yeah. Well, in back to Kristin Neff real quick, because this is the practice that I often teach of hers, which is like when she teaches that, that, that sort of three or four step process of like, if you're having a hard moment, you stop, you put your hand on your heart and you say this is suffering. And just even that step alone, even if you don't do any of the other stuff's just acknowledging this is suffering is incredibly powerful. Do you do that one?

Ellyn: 43:36 Yeah. Yeah. Anytime. Um, I even do it sometimes when I meditating, I'm all, it's not necessarily like a, this is suffering, but it's just acknowledging, oh, I'm thinking, yeah, I'm thinking or if I'm, you know, yesterday morning it was, it was interesting. So as we're recording this, this is the day after my 30th birthday and yesterday morning I did have a little moment of looking back at last year. I was traveling for my birthday last year. I was actually in Cartagena, Colombia for my birthday last year and kind of like comparing, comparing my own life and where I was last year to where I am now. Um, and I kind of had to have a moment with myself of saying it. It's okay, it's okay to miss your friends. It's okay to, you know, wish that you were, you were back in this tropical location instead of being in the gloomy Seattle area. Like it's okay. And just kind of acknowledging that it's okay.

Andrea: 44:32 Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yes. I think what you're saying is so powerful. It's just naming what is and not adding story to it.

Ellyn: 44:44 Which is the hard part for some people. I feel like,

Andrea: 44:47 yeah. It's like not having to fix it and not adding story to it. It's just letting it be what it is. It's just like, oh, this is a moment of suffering. Okay. And then I think the next step is like acknowledging that everyone suffers and somehow that actually connects you to humanity in this really beautiful way anyway. Yeah. Ugh. It's such beautiful work. It's so healing. It's, ummm. Like I said, super vulnerable and um, so for the resisters, like I've been, um, it's probably most important for us.

Ellyn: 45:31 I love that. This kind of this little piece at the end kind of tied this up in a beautiful bow because it really comes back to that thing you said at the beginning of what if there's nothing to fix about you.

Andrea: 45:42 Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Ellyn: 45:47 Oh, oh, all the chills. This is going to be a good one. I can not wait for you guys. Oh, thank you so much for diving into all of this, this beautiful insight that you have and these wonderful little simple simple tips and kind of like empowering mindset shifts that you were, that shared with all of us today, all of the listeners myself. I really appreciate it.

Andrea: 46:14 Thank you so much. It was a total delight and I'm so happy that you asked.

Ellyn: 46:19 Of course. Of course. I have a couple wrap up questions, um, that I love to ask everybody. They're short and sweet. The first of which I love, I'm a big book nerd. I love reading personal development books. Um, do you have any favorite personal development books that you would recommend to the listeners?

Andrea: 46:37 Ooh, my favorite all time favorite book is called [inaudible]. My grandfather's blessings. Bye. Rachel Naomi Rehmann and she's an oncologist at UCLA where she used to be. Um, but she's also one of the most beautiful writers and storytellers. And so it's this collection of stories, um, that are, it's like, uh, like personal essays. Um, and they are full of so much wisdom and beauty. They are just astounding.

Ellyn: 47:07 I've never heard of that one. I'm excited. That's going to be a new one on my reading list.

Andrea: 47:12 She's so good. And then her maybe even more famous book is called kitchen table wisdom. Maybe you've heard of that one?

Ellyn: 47:18 I have heard of that one. Okay. I was gonna say that name sounded familiar.

Andrea: 47:22 Yeah, she's great.

Ellyn: 47:24 Oh, okay. Yes. Okay. So that's our top book. Everybody's going to have to check that out. I'm going to go download that like ASAP and then last but not least, if people are, are loving your vibe, loving your and want to see your hundred day project and all of the beautiful little tips and, and kernels of wisdom you have, where can people find you?

Andrea: 47:45 Yes. So on Instagram, um, my name is Andrea Shear, all one word, a, N D, r, e, a, s, c, h, e, r, and a superherolife.com is where I host all of my classes. And you can find my podcast and my blog and all the things that many things are beautiful.

Ellyn: 48:07 And when you potentially make this shift this summer to kind of rebrand, will that superhero life redirect to wherever your new?

Andrea: 48:14 Yeah, and it'll, it'll, it'll be just Andreascher.com but yeah, it'll redirect. So no worries on that.

Ellyn: 48:21 Beautiful. Want to double check on that one for anybody who's listening to this later. Um, well, once again, thank you. I so appreciate you taking the time and responding to my random Instagram video DM. I'm so happy we were able to connect...

Andrea: 48:36 Me too, thank you, Ellyn.

Ellyn: 48:38 Thank you.

 
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