Summary

"𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼-𝗱𝗼!!" .

I get that impulse. That hesitation. When it feels like all this coach-y, self-help-y 💩 is just adding more to-dos into your busy AF life.

But, what if I told you that burnout and boundaries can be just as much (if not MORE) about what you STOP doing as what you START?

I feel like so often in the self-help and personal growth space, it can feel like a laundry list and it can feel irritating at times because we already have a lot of shit on our plate! Hell, we’re high-achievers…we ADD those things to our plate to feel that high of productivity.

But my goal in this podcast episode is to give you 5 tips…5 TANGIBLE THINGS…that will free you up, give you space, and allow you time to have more YOU in your life!

For show notes, head to coachellyn.com/podcast and, of course, if you have any questions or want to connect, head on over to @coachellyn on Instagram.

ACTION STEPS:

• 💻STOP WORKING. Seriously...just give yourself some time for fun, hobbies, free-time, and maybe even a whole lot of nothin'. SCHEDULE THAT SHIT IN!

• 📱STOP RESPONDING TO NOTIFICATIONS. Emails? Social media? Turn that shit off! It’s not necessary…and it’s not helping. It’s making you less productive…and more stressed!

• 🚫STOP DOING IT ALL YOURSELF. Ask for help. Delegate. Sometimes the biggest thing that undermines achievers is we're control freaks. Let it go! *cue the frozen music*

• 🤷🏻‍♀️STOP SAYING YES. Don't have time to take on that project or that extra client? Well, then don't say that you do. Saying no? That's your friend

• ❌STOP MAKING EXCUSES. Ya - I went there. Cuz real talk? You're the only one that can make the changes you need to stop feeling so burned out...

RESOURCES IN THIS EPISODE:

• Learn More About Our “Building Boundaries: Protect Your Productivity” Workshop on August 27th

• Previous Episodes:

  • Ep 96: “Burnout, Boundaries, & Making More Time For You” - click here

transcript:

(01:06):

What is up, my friend. I am so excited that you are back today. Thank you so much for having some grace with me. I took last week off from releasing a new podcast episode, because let me just tell you shouldn't have been crazy in my world lately. If you know me, if you follow me on Instagram, you know that I do have a day job. My day job is I am a professional tutor and I primarily focus in act and sat with a little bit of math and science thrown in there because #sciencenerd, what, what? Um, but it has been a chaotic season

(01:41):

In the day job because It's the first SAT since God like last December to happen for these students. So, um, that's happening actually on Saturday, um, August 29th. So it has been a little chaotic lately. So I appreciate you hanging in there with me. I appreciate you being patient with this new content coming out. And this is something that I'm super stoked to talk about - five things to stop doing to take back your life - because I feel like so often personal growth is basically like a laundry list of new to do, you know, new to do's to add to our life. And it can feel a little irritating at times because we already have a lot on our plate. We are high-achieving human beings. Like we put a lot of on our plate.

(02:26):

And what I'm really hoping to do today is to give you some tips that will help to take some of that stuff off your plate. Now, some of these tips might be a little bit of a call out. They might be a little bit uncomfortable, but Hey, that's why I'm here. I'm here to be that no person in your life. And that's why I'm telling you this shit.

(02:45):

So with that, before we dive into our tips, I want to make sure you know about our boundaries workshop workshop that is happening on Thursday. So as you were hearing this, if you were listening to it on the day, it's released, this workshop is happening in two days, but there is still time to get in on this workshop because this is going to be a boundaries intensive workshop. If you are somebody who has a little bit of trouble shutting down at the end of the day, if you are somebody who really find that they struggle to say no, whether that's to work activities or to personal commitments or whatever, and you constantly are finding yourself, stretched too thin with not enough time for yourself, then you need boundaries.

(03:29):

My friend, sincerely, you need better boundaries in your life, but I understand that just saying you need boundaries. Doesn't exactly make it cut and dry or easy to figure out what those boundaries are or to figure out how to communicate them to the people in your life. Because if everybody's gotten used to you being a yes person, you know, it might be, that might be the biggest thing. That is a difficulty for you. Is it figuring out how to communicate these boundaries? And in this workshop, we are going to be detailing all of that, that link, what boundaries are, why you need them, particularly as a high achiever, how they prevent burnout, but also the types of boundaries, how to communicate them. So, so much, it's going to be jam packed with content and best of all, there's going to be two coaches leading this workshop, myself and my girl, Nicole Hudson of simply Hudson.

(04:16):

And we are both very experienced with boundaries, very experienced with not having boundaries as well as why it's so freaking important that we all start implementing them better. You know, we've been there, we've been those people who have had really boundaries in our lives personally and professionally, and we both are very committed to helping you find yours. And what's going to be great about this workshop, especially because there are two of us that are hosting it. As you were going to get a ton of personalized contact, we're going to be doing breakout rooms. We're keeping the workshop very, very small. So it's going to be a great opportunity for you to get feedback on what boundaries you need, how to work them out. And you will get tons of time with us so that we can answer all of your questions and really leave you with a game plan for not only what your boundaries are, but how to implement them.

(05:04):

Like, I don't want you to walk away from this with a whole bunch of, to do's. I want the two dues to be done. So that's really what this workshop is all about. So if this is something that you were interested in, there's only a little bit of time left for you to get in on it. So head to coachellyn.com/boundaries. And you will learn all, you need to know about it as well as you will find where you can buy your ticket. So I want to make sure you know about that. Once again, it's coachellyn.com/boundaries that is happening on Thursday, August 27th. And if you're listening to this right, as this is coming out, jump in on that, it's going to be amazing and super pumped for it. So with that, I want to make sure you knew about the workshop, but with that, let's dive in to these five tips, five tips to stop doing, or five things, excuse me, to stop doing, to take back your life.

(05:57):

I'm trying to keep this episode very, very short, very, very punchy. I'm literally watching the clock cause I'm like, "Hmm, I'm going to talk for less than 15 minutes today god damn it". But our first tip is drum roll, please. The first tip might be a little hard, but the first steps to stop working seriously for the love of God. And I'm literally speaking to you as somebody who has been called a workaholic before, just give yourself some time for fun, for hobbies for free time. And maybe even just a whole lot of nothing. I literally I'll admit I was a little hung over on Saturday, but I literally spent my entire Saturday watching movies, just chilling. I literally schedule into my week when I'm going to go have fun. When I'm, when I'm going to go hike. When I'm going to go hang out with people, when I'm going to not be doing work, I schedule the into my calendar. And this is actually something that I've realized isn't all that common - and I do plan to do a future podcast episode about how to prioritize your priorities and make sure this fun stuff gets on your calendar. But literally all it takes is you pulling out that calendar, which you jam packed with appointments and meetings and work to dues and even, you know, sometimes personal goals and taking some time for you scheduling some time into your calendar. Maybe for, I don't know. Do you want to go get a massage? You know, how did the spa, I know we're like still in the midst of COVID, but spas are opening back up. Massages are now a thing. In fact, I have like massively too many massage on viewpoints that I need to go get rid of. So schedule the like you and me both I'm actually probably after this podcast episode is recorded going to go schedule a massage.

(07:52):

So what do you need to do to stop working, to give yourself that time, to pamper yourself, to have some fun, to go engage in those hobbies? Because seriously, this is the biggest thing that you could probably do to free up a little bit of time in your life and take back your fricking life. I don't know why I said fricking cause I wanted to say fucking. So take back your fucking life. Stop working, give yourself some time for fun hobbies and free time. Okay. I don't know why I censored myself there, but I caught myself on it. So dropped an F-bomb. What fancy pants are on today, my friends they are on. So that is tip number one is to stop working schedule some time for some fun and some just non-work-related nonproductive activities. Frankly, this is something that took me a long time to get in my head. Not everything that we do has to be productive. Just throwing that out there. So that's tip number one is to stop working.

(08:42):

Tip number two is to stop responding to notifications. I do not care that you have a smartphone in your pocket that does not mean you need to notified all the time of all the goings on. I am definitely guilty of being somebody who carries their smartphone around with them too much, but you know what? It's something that has literally changed my life. If I have no email, no social media and really any other type of notification on my phone notifications that I get really are for phone calls and for texts. So if you are somebody who has notifications for every thing and your phone turned on, turn that off. In fact, I'm going to take this a step further and tell you a little secret of mine.

(09:35):

I actually, for my day job for my tutoring job, I have a Google voice number, which is something that I implemented back in January to help give me more separation between my day job. And I kind of just realized I didn't want to have, you know, all my families and all of my students having my personal cell phone number that felt like a boundary violation. Speaking of boundaries. Um, so what I did is I got a Google voice number and I actually set it up so that it does not ring on my days off. I can set what days of the week. I actually received notifications from that. And it does not give me notifications and it does not ring to my phone. On my days off. I do still have the Google voice app on my phone, but the notifications are off on my days off.

(10:20):

So seriously do yourself a favor and either take email off your phone altogether, take social media off your phone altogether, which that's a personal choice. Instagram is my jam and it actually truly makes me very, very happy to be on Instagram. So I keep it, but I do not have notifications on. So I highly recommend you do the same. So tip number one was to stop working tip. Number two is to stop responding to notifications. You do not have to be a slave to your smartphone, my friend, and it's not serving you to do so now tip number three. I really wish I'd learned this one a long time ago.

(10:57):

Tip number three is to stop doing it all yourself. I sucked in graduate school and at times still suck, but I'm getting so much better at it. I sucked in grad school though at asking for help. When I was stuck, when I really had no freaking clue what to do, I should've just asked for help from my mentors, from my superiors, from other peers, it would have served me so much to just ask for some help. And for those of you that are exceptionally high up in your company, you have subordinates and people that are meant to be helping you out with tasks, but that you're not letting holy. I'm calling you out on that right now. Not only do you need to ask, ask for help if you were in over your head and you're overwhelmed and you're overworked, but you need to delegate some. Cause sometimes the biggest thing that undermines achievers like you and I is we're control freaks. Like I literally want you to cue the frozen right now and just let some go. You can train and or trust people in your life to not only help you, but to do some of the that you were hoarding on your to-do list for you stop doing it all yourself. Ask for help delegate.

(12:11):

So tip number one, stop working tip number two, stop responding to notifications. Tip number three, stop doing it all yourself. Ooh. Talk about some things that are going to free up some time and help you take back your life. I don't know if I'm going to make my 15 minute cutoff, but I'm going to be close.

(12:27):

Tip number four. Oh, I like this one too. I like all of these frankly, but tip number four is to stop saying yes. If you don't have time to take on that project for work or to take on that extra client, if you're an entrepreneur, well then don't say that you do it sounds so simple. And this even applies to personal commitments. If you don't have time or you can't imagine yourself wanting to go to that birthday party on Sunday night after you've worked a long Workday, then don't say, you'll go, don't take on that extra commitment.

(13:03):

Personal or professional saying, no, I feel like has gotten villainized for us as high achievers because so often we are so committed to being the best. The being the best doesn't mean shouldering everybody else's burdens. It doesn't mean taking on more than you can. You can carry saying no is your friend. And we needed to stop as high achievers. Villainizing saying no. So that is tip number four. We're just going to keep this one real straight forward. Stop saying yes. Stop saying yes for that you a) don't want to do, and b) don't have time to take on my big rule, especially when it comes to the whole things you don't want to do. If it's not hell yes, then it's no, if you're not stoked to go do that thing. It's no. So stop saying yes. Stop, stop. Stop saying yes.

(13:55):

So to recap, tip number one, stop working tip number two, stop responding to notifications. Tip number three, stop doing it all yourself. And tip number four. Stop saying yes.

(14:06):

Now tip number five is where Ellyn really gets her sassy pants on, which is funny because I feel like they're already on, but we're going there. Tip number five is to stop making excuses. So many of us as high achievers are overwhelmed. We're overworked we're burned out. And yet we act like victims of the situation that we're in. It's a whole woe is me kind of situation. And I'm calling you out because I kind of wish somebody had called me out on this. When I was back in the thick of this, I was constantly and moaning about all of the stuff that I had on my plate. But the fact of the matter was I signed up for that stuff. I said yes for that stuff, because real talk my friends.

(14:55):

And this is why I stopped making excuses is our final tip, real talk. You're the only one that can commit yourself to the things you're committing yourself to. And simultaneously you're the only one that can make the changes you need to stop feeling so fucking burned out. That's the real talk. And again, I'm want to be your no person in your life. So if you needed to hear that, if you needed to hear that, you know, making excuses is your nemesis right now, then let me just be the person to tell you that this is the case. So I wanted to keep this short sweet and punchy tip. Number one is to stop working tip number two is to stop responding to notifications, get that off your phone. You don't need it. It won't make you any less of a bad-ass or the best tip. Number three is to stop doing it all yourself. Ask for help, delegate, get some of that off of your plate. Tip number four is to stop saying yes so you don't have as much on your plate to begin with. And tip number five is to stop making excuses.

(16:01):

If you want to take back your life, if you want to free yourself from the burnout that you've been stuck in, these are some places you can start and it's not adding anything to your to-do list. All it's doing is giving you some very tangible, very blunt, frankly, tips to get some off your plate because you deserve to have a little bit more freedom in your life to have a little bit more separation from your work and the rest of your life so that you can really live a life. That feels good. That feels fun. That feels fulfilling. And that finally for the love of God feels free.

(16:36):

So with that, that's all I've got for you today. Again, make sure that if you're interested in that boundaries workshop and you're listening to this right, as it's getting released that you get on that because that is happening this Thursday, August 27th, 2020, I hope to see you there. But with that, I will talk to you next time, my friend and I really, really hope you heard me the, some of these tips and that you take the one that really resonated with you the most and stop doing it. So with that, I will talk to you next time. Have a great one. Bye

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