{Mindset} Permission to be Lazy

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Summary

In today's episode, we're going to talk about a familiar feeling: when feel like you SHOULD, but you just don't want to. When you're tired and just want to be LAZY, but you're shaming yourself for it. Where's that coming from? What should you do? Well, I'm going to answer the question today because I've been feeling it a lot.

For show notes, head to coachellyn.com/podcast, and, of course, if you have any questions or want to connect, head on over to @coachellyn on Instagram.

| RESOURCES & MENTIONS IN THIS EPISODE |

• Check out the previous episode about Hiking to Camp Muir - click here

• Check out the viral reel I talked about in this episode - click here

• Join my brand-new, FREE Community - click here

• Join my text list for burnout reminders and motivation - click here

Transcript:

Hey, they're my friend. And welcome to the burned out to badass podcast. My name is Ellyn Schinke - @coachellyn on Instagram - and this is my monthly podcast where I am committed to giving you short, no BS episodes to help you, the busy burned-out professional and entrepreneur, find your balance and take back your life from burnout. Let's do this.

Hello, my friend. And welcome back to another kick-ass new episode of burned out to badass. Episode #21 today.

And this is gonna be a different episode. Just gonna throw that out there, right from the get-go. I have no idea as I'm recording it, what I'm even gonna call it. And it's not necessarily going to be related to burnout, you know, specifically, or is it, I don't know. I think you could loosely say this is related to emotional burnout. It was really just a thought. I had

A thought I had around why so many of us push ourselves to do things that we don't necessarily want to do. We take on too much. We overwhelm ourselves. We don't necessarily rest as much as we want to. It's kind of all of those things ruled into one and I'm literally recording this episode on a Saturday. It is a day that I usually protect. And, actually, I told you in the last episode, I usually protect this as my day off, but I was just, I wanted to record this. I wanted to share this because I feel this. And I'm sure that means that a lot of you do too, you know, I'm sure you've been in a position where you felt something very similar to this. And that's kind of why I wanted to take this 15, 20 minutes on this Saturday afternoon to record this before I go on a walk and to give you some context for where I'm coming from, I wanna set the stage for you.

So as I'm recording this, it is early June and I am just like I did last summer. And I recorded a podcast episode on this last summer. Um, or last year I am hiking to camp mu again, this year camp mu for those of you that don't know is basically base camp on Mount Rainier, which is our kind of most famous mountain here in the Pacific Northwest, in the Seattle area. And I'm doing that again this summer. I am hiking it with friends again this summer, we have a new friend that's joining us well, not a new friend for me. I've known her for several years now. And we're doing that again this summer. And to do that, it is a paint, a picture for you. And actually I'm going to reference it, I'll put it in the show notes. The episode I recorded previously, this hike that we're doing in the beginning of July is a beast.

It's like eight miles round trip. It's like 4,000 feet of elevation gain, but what's more fun is it is base camp on Mount Rainier. So it is elevation. It is we're walking through a snowfield for a really good chunk of it. Like it's tough. It is a tough hike. And last year I was so gung-ho to train for this hike. It was the first time I'd ever done it. Like just the challenge of it just sounded amazing. So exciting. I really wanted to push myself and this year it doesn't have the same drive and motivation behind it. I'm kind of just doing it as you know, something to do with my friends. You know, just some plan to have this summer. It's kind of a very different perspective on this hike, but perhaps what's contributing to it just being so different is the fact that this year our weather has been crap in the Seattle area.

Our weather has been, you know, I'm just gonna say it's been in the Seattle area. Our spring has been so wet that it's made hiking, not very fun. I'm realizing more and more that I'm a fair-weather hiker. Call me crazy, but I don't find it fun to hike in the pouring down rain to get to the top where you're supposed to have this gorgeous, gorgeous view and have it be clouded in. And you're not being able to see anything. I don't find that fun. Call me crazy. And I was thinking about this this morning, you know, my friend and I talked about perhaps going hiking today. And we decided not to because it looked like it was just gonna be terrible weather in the forecast low and behold, we wake up this morning and it's really nice out. And she texted me and she said something along the lines of, “maybe we should have gone hiking today.” And my response to her was, “you know what, I'm actually enjoying being really lazy this morning…”

Kind of ironic because yesterday I had a reel on Instagram go viral. That was all about how we don't need to justify those moments where we just wanna be lazy. Um, and I do, I was enjoying being lazy this morning. I slept in, I probably spent way too much time on Instagram. I watched a movie, I'm not recording this podcast. I am gonna go for a walk later, but I really just didn't wanna go for a hike. And after I thought that I had this moment of feeling bad, feeling like I'm not a real hir feeling like I'm just like a failure of an adult because I really haven't done much this weekend. Just kind of feeling bad and feeling like, kind of shaming myself for it. And I thought about it and I was just like, you know what, that.

I think so often in our lives, we are told we need to be more disciplined. We need to use our time. Well, you know, you don't have enough. You don't have a lot of time on this earth. You've gotta use it. Well, which I feel like all of that are kind of subtle ways of shaming us for being lazy, subtle ways of telling us that for our time on this planet to count, we need to be doing all the time. And you know what? I don't freaking like that. You know, maybe today's podcast episode is just gonna be a reiteration of the message of yesterday's viral reel that we need to stop feeling like we have to justify the moments where we just wanna be lazy. Our entire lives involve discipline. In my opinion, our entire lives involve discipline. And the self-control of showing up, even when we don't want to, for so many of us, we don't like our job.

We don't like the work we're doing. And yet we have to show up and do our best work in spite of it. Don't we, you know, for those of us who are single, it takes some freaking discipline to show up on dating apps. Doesn't it? My friend, there's not a lot of reward for the time spent on dating apps is there. So that requires discipline to like show up, requires discipline to date. Frankly, I would much rather sit in front of my TV with a glass of wine than make small talk with some dude, just being honest. I feel like, you know, we are told that our weekends, you know, every, the, a question that always revolves around the weekend is what he got planned this weekend. What if I have nothing planned?

Is that not okay? Because I love me a day with no plans. I think that's what I'm realizing and that what is sucking a little bit of joy out of hiking for me is that it monopolizes my entire weekend. You know, I work Sunday to Thursday and in those intermittent times when I don't have anything on the schedule for my day job, working on my business on Fridays, I'm usually working on my business. So come Saturday a good chunk of the time. All I wanna do is relax. All I wanna do is go with the flow. All I wanna do is OMG gasp be lazy. And sometimes I feel bad for that. Sometimes I feel like I lazy shame myself because I should be doing more with my time.

You know, I think that's the issue that sometimes we just don't want to do. We just wanna chill. We wanna take the easy route. And there's so much in the world that is telling us that that is wrong. There is so much in the world that is telling us that we need to do, we need to have an activity planned. We need to X, Y, Z to spend our time. Well, and even if it's subtle things like have more discipline or have more self-control or what do you have planned this weekend? Very, very that last one, especially a very innocuous question, a very, very, you know, not, not necessarily outwardly shaming question. And yet, if somebody is asked that question and they don't have any plans, they might feel bad. Well, is there something wrong with me? Should I have plans? What if I don't wanna have plans?

And then they start questioning themselves. You know, when it comes to hiking, it takes me an hour. Usually at least to drive somewhere with hikes, with a place that I can do a, like a legitimate hike takes me an hour to drive there an hour to drive back more if there's traffic and then depending upon the route and the, and the trail that I'm doing, I could be gone on the trail for three to six, maybe even eight hours. It's like an all-day commitment and call me crazy. But after a day, or excuse me, a week of working and pushing myself and being disciplined and showing up, I don't wanna have to do that for something that's fun. I don't wanna have to do that for something that will, it's just a hobby. I would much rather do exactly what I'm gonna do today.

And drive five minutes down to the water and hike along the flat, waterfront, not even a hike, I'm going more like a nature walk. Not even that it's on pavement. I am going for a walk <laugh> and like, what's, there's nothing wrong with that. I think we shame ourselves into doing more, even in the time that should be leisure time, because there are these subtle things that we say to ourselves or that others might even say to us that make it feel like that's what you're supposed to do, that you're supposed to use your time well, and using your time Mo means having plans, going somewhere, doing things. And frankly, for so many of us, we do so much during the week that we just don't want to. We just want to use that Saturday. That has no plans and spoiler alert have no plans.

I mean, I think this whole conversation is revealing that ultimately the larger issue is we need to have less on our plates during the week. So we're not so drained and tired. And just needing that relaxation on the weekends, like maybe that is the larger fix to this issue, but until we can make those changes until we can change our habits and our mindsets, I think the biggest thing I want us all to take from today is don't shame yourself. If you just wanna be lazy, don't judge yourself. If you wanna do nothing, if you wanna have no plans, if you would rather do the easy nearby it's in my backyard activity, that requires a lot less logistics than the one that requires an eight hour commitment and a two hour drive that's okay. It is okay to choose the easy option. It doesn't mean that you are not living life well and not being disciplined and not using your time here to the best you can.

It doesn't mean that if you take a day where you just decide to do the thing, that's easier to do the thing that allows you to be a little bit lazier. That's okay. That's really what I want the takeaway to be today, because I think that's what I've needed to remind myself that even though hiking is something that I do for joy, it doesn't have to be this big production all the time. And it's okay if I have days like I've been having recently where I just don't want that big commitment on my Saturday. I don't want to drive two hours and hike eight miles. That is okay. And it's okay for you two. So that's it. That's what I've got for you today. And I hope this resonated with you. I feel like so many of us, we just need that reminder that just because it's summer doesn't mean you have to be doing things all the time.

You can be lazy, you can rest. And I hope that it really served you to hear that reminder as well, because I know I've needed it before we wrap up today, though, I wanted to let you know about some new things that are happening in the Coach Ellyn world.

There are great new ways to get in touch with me. Obviously, you can still shoot me a DM over at Instagram @coachellyn. But I also have a text list.

I started a brand new text list as a nice little way to just kind of give you those little nudges, those subtle reminders to rest, take the foot off the gas. And if you're somebody who feels like you need those, shoot me a text at 2 5 3 - 2 6 5 - 5 2 7 6. So that's the text list.

And then the other thing is I've got a brand new community. So head to coachellyn.com/community, if you want in on that.

But other than that, thank you again so much. My friend for being here and I will talk to you next time. Bye.