118 - LEAN IN...Even When it's Not "The Plan"

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Summary

Let's LEAN IN to the opportunities that come our way - even if they're not part of the plan. In this episode, I want to reflect on a recent event experience and share some of the insights the came up, such as the importance of leaning into your story, giving yourself credit, and embracing unexpected opportunities. Sometimes our career path gives us breadcrumbs and we need to lean into what is working, even if it deviates from the initial plan.

For show notes, head to⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠coachellyn.com/podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and, of course, follow me on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠OR check out my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more!

Keywords

burnout, leaning in, career path, risks, business, opportunities, embracing change

Some Takeaways

• The importance of giving oneself credit for the risks taken in one's career journey

• Embracing unexpected opportunities and leaning into what is working

• Following the breadcrumbs of one's career path and embracing change

• The significance of leaning into one's story and career path, even if it deviates from the initial plan

Sound Bites

"I want to reflect on the event that I was just at, which if you don't follow me on Instagram, which you honestly probably wouldn't have gotten a lot from it because I have been a ghost on Instagram recently and I didn't share much that I wanted to from this event."

"When we are pursuing our career path, whatever it might be, maybe you are working your way up the corporate ladder, maybe you are building a business, whatever your career path might look like, maybe you're side hustling, there is inherently a lot of comparison that goes on in that."

"I need to lean into my story. I need to lean into and appreciate and own the risks that I have taken, even if those risks might look different than the ones that I felt like I should have taken at this point in my entrepreneurial journey."

Resources

• Take the “What’s Your Burnout Type?” Quiz

• Check out my NEW program Burnout-Proof Business!

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Drop a comment below…

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TRANSCRIPT:

Ellyn Schinke (00:00.578)

Hello, my friend, and welcome back to another kick -ass new episode of the Burnout Proof Podcast. I'm going to tell you right now from the beginning of this episode, I have no idea where we're going to go. I have started recording this episode. This is my fourth time now. I'm on literally it says take four on the audio for this. I feel like it's take four because I know I have something in my gut that I want to talk about today. I want to reflect on the...

the event that I was just at, which if you don't follow me on Instagram, which you honestly probably wouldn't have gotten a lot from it because I have been a ghost on Instagram recently and I didn't share much that I wanted to from this event. But I was in Scottsdale last week as I record this at an event. And there's something in my gut that I want to share about that event. And I don't even necessarily know. I have some things in my head, but I just feel like I need to share because there's so many little ahas that came out of this event.

and I'm trying to figure out how to package them and how to share them in a way that's going to resonate with you, going to be meaningful to you. And perhaps it is just, perhaps I just need to share them as they unfolded for me. And perhaps I just need to touch on how they unfolded for me because I really feel like this event taught me to lean in.

And when I say lean in, what I mean is lean into my story, lean into the way in which business has unfolded for me. Because here's kind of how the days panned out. I got so much value, so much information from this event. I can't even like, I haven't even looked through my notes yet. I've been so tired since I got back. I have full transparency. But I want to paint a picture for you how this event kind of unfolded for me in terms of the ahas that I had and literally the 48 hours that we were at this event.

And the first aha that I had is about needing to give myself some damn credit. And I want to paint the picture for you why this ties to this notion of leaning in.

Ellyn Schinke (02:01.826)

When we are pursuing our career path, whatever it might be, maybe you are working your way up the corporate ladder, maybe you are building a business, whatever your career path might look like, maybe you're side hustling, there is inherently a lot of comparison that goes on in that, yeah, I'm sure I'm not the only human on this planet. In fact, I know for a fact I'm not that I look at my entrepreneurial journey and I compare.

And that's what I was actually doing the very first day of this event is I was comparing. I was comparing myself to other people who have just gone for it. The other people who have this just like visceral, deep belief in themselves and what they're creating and what they're doing. Like they don't need validation for anybody. They just know. They have this like internal knowing.

I'm not like that. I don't think I've ever been like that as an entrepreneur. I've joked for years they don't teach business and biology programs. I still, five years later, feel like I have no idea what the hell I'm doing in my business. This first day of this event, one of the first things I journaled on, one of the things that I felt like I needed to call myself out on was that I wasn't being enough of a risk taker. Don't worry, when I say lean in in this episode,

I'm actually not talking about leaning into taking risks. This is just initially how it appeared for me. I was kind of getting down on myself and really feeling like I needed to take more risks. I needed to just go for it and stop hesitating and just have belief and go 100 % into the thing that I felt like I was creating. And I was kind of getting down on myself for just being so skittish and so risk averse and why can't I be a better risk taker? Why can't I just go for it?

And that was the first day and then I woke up for day two and it was, I don't even know what the heck I dreamed about or whatever, but I woke up on day two and I realized, no, I'm not gonna not give myself credit for all of the risks I have taken because the fact of the matter is I've taken a lot and you very well might have as well. Like just because my risks look different than somebody else's risk doesn't mean that I didn't take risks. You know, I dropped out of my freaking PhD program.

Ellyn Schinke (04:25.506)

I dropped out and stepped away from the path to being Dr. Ellen, which in a lot of respects would have been a much easier path to take. It would have been inherently respected. I mean, shit, people would hear me say Dr. Ellen, PhD, and it's like that engenders respect without much effort needed. I walked away from that. I stepped away from that. I gave $5 ,000 of money that I frankly didn't have at the time to a random ass company on the internet to travel with them for a year.

My experience in 2018 of traveling for a year and going on remote year was a risk because honestly, that could have been a scam. We actually used to all joke about it the first few months of remote year that didn't seem like a scam to you, it seemed like a scam to me. That could have been a scam. But even beyond that, I started a business. I got into credit card debt starting a business. I stepped away from a path toward leadership in the company that I worked for. I went full -time earlier this year.

I need to give myself more credit for the risks that I have taken instead of feeling like the risks that I've taken aren't enough, which is ironic because I literally, if you, this is probably something you might've seen on Instagram. If you follow me, I literally just got, I am enough tattooed on my forearm when I was in Victoria on vacation. So that was kind of almost the first step of leaning in, leaning in and perhaps a different way than you thought I was going to talk about this, but leaning in, I realized I need to lean into my story.

I need to lean into and appreciate and own the risks that I have taken, even if those risks might look different than the ones that I felt like I should have taken at this point in my entrepreneurial journey. I also feel like, and this was another aspect of leaning in that I realized I needed, I needed to lean in. This has been a big aha that's come from the last few days. I need to lean in to...

the things that have worked and the things that kind of have fallen in my lap.

Ellyn Schinke (06:25.826)

Because doing that has been so beneficial for me up until this point in my life. If I think about it, my entire entrepreneurial journey, and I want to, as I'm talking about this, I really encourage you to reflect on how this might be similar for you. Because here's the thing, and this is why I want to talk about this today, this notion of leaning in and just owning it and going for it. I feel like we make our careers, especially if you're a business owner and an entrepreneur like I am.

I feel like we make the decisions in our careers and our professions and our businesses so damn complicated. Especially if you're like me and you struggle with external validation and you struggle with, especially when it's something you haven't done before, not having the data to back up the decision you're making. I struggle with this. I will not sugarcoat the fact that this is something that's hard for me.

especially in business. I feel like I constantly am pulling people around me and wanting to hear 90 % yeses before I move forward with something. And the fact of the matter is, I'm probably never going to have as much data as I want to have to make a decision. But that's how I've wanted things to work out in my business, is I wanted to just have complete and utter clarity on what are the next steps I need to take.

When the fact of the matter is, when I have A, listen to my gut, and B, follow the breadcrumbs that have just appeared in front of me in my career and in my business, that hasn't steered me wrong. And I want to paint a picture for you for what I mean like this. Exhibit A, coaching. I have not and probably will never regret dropping out of grad school.

It has been seven years, actually eight years since I dropped out of grad school, seven years since I full blown left science. That's nuts to think about actually as I say that. It's been a long time and I have never ever once regretted making that choice ever. That was like literally the first breadcrumb that appeared in my path that I followed and I was just like.

Ellyn Schinke (08:46.434)

damn, this tastes good. I want more of this. And I kept going down that path. And then the next kind of pivot along the way was finding burnout. And it was funny how I found it. I don't know if I've talked a lot on this podcast about how I found burnout, but how I literally found burnout in terms of my coaching and my business is I literally made a rule for myself that you cannot join another group coaching program this year.

I was like, you've been already enrolled in native agility and you've already spent a lot of money. You have access to these courses. You're going to work through them and then that's it. You're going to work through them, get the information, and then you're going to listen to yourself as to what decisions to make. At the end of that process, that is when I had the holy shit. I'm a burnout coach. That's what I do. That's when I had that moment and that breadcrumb.

has not steered me wrong. I was one of those people, if you were a coach, you will resonate with this. But maybe even if you're just somebody who is in a career where you have a lot of different directions you could go down, a lot of different things you could do. I was somebody that when I first started coaching, I never felt settled in terms of what I did as a coach. I never felt settled in who I was and what I did as a coach. It kind of always seemed like there was another shiny object of, I should do this. I should do this. Trust me, there's still shiny objects. They're just very different now.

They're all within my same niche. But before it was, I should do this kind of coaching. I should do this kind of coaching. I should be a productivity coach. I should work with scientists. I should do this and this and this. And I couldn't decide. And I constantly didn't feel like I was in the right place. And then I found burnout and I have literally just like with leaving my PhD, I never, I don't have any second thoughts about burnout. There's no part of me that wants to leave this as the work that I do.

So I leaned into that. And not only did I lean into the coaching, I leaned into burnout. And then speaking happened in my business.

Ellyn Schinke (10:43.49)

And that has been a game changer in my business. Like speaking has opened so many doors. It's something that I knew I wanted to do, but I never thought it would be like the main thing that I did in my business. The main income driver, the main thing that I was becoming known for was as being a speaker. And this is the place where I kind of realized I haven't been leaning in.

as much as I should. I've kind of been dabbling in speaking. I honestly, as much as like as recently as six months ago was just like, I want to speak less. I don't want to do as much speaking as I do. But I'm actually realizing more and more that these things get getting put in front of me by whoever, by the universe, by whatever. Like I don't care where it's coming from, frankly, but these things keep getting put in front of me. And when I listen to them, when I follow the breadcrumbs that are being put in front of me, when I lean into the opportunities that I'm given,

That's when shit works. And that's what I'm really realizing. I came out of this retreat to this mastermind, this event realizing is I need to lean in again. I've leaned into burnout. I've leaned into business. But now is the time to lean in to this part of my work that's working, to lean into speaking, to lean into being known as a speaker. Literally the first speaking client I ever worked with, that ever paid me to speak.

I think I charged them $500, maybe even 200. I don't remember. It was a long time ago. But the first one literally found me, Googled Burnout Coach, found me and said, hey, do you speak? I didn't have a speaking page on my website. I didn't have anything. And I was just like, sure, yeah, I'll speak. And then it became another, sure, yeah. And then I made a speaking page and people started coming to me for this and I never fully leaned into it. I never fully embodied it.

And that's kind of what I'm realizing now is I have these opportunities, these doors that have opened for me. And think about if Ellen seven years ago had looked at the door of coaching that had opened for her and said, that's not part of the plan. That's not the vision that I have for my life. I'm not going to say yes to that. Think about if I'd done that.

Ellyn Schinke (13:00.962)

I would probably be Dr. Ellen right now, but I don't think I would be very happy with my life. I honestly would probably be Dr. Ellen and I would be floundering trying to find fulfillment and happiness and joy. If Ellen hadn't, Ellen seven years ago had said no to that, had shut it down because it wasn't part of the vision and the plan, I would have missed out on all of this that I do now. So why is Ellen current day Ellen? I'm talking about myself in third person a lot here right now.

But why, why am I right now doing the same thing where I have this door opening in front of me, this thing that is in so many respects going to change my life and my business and frankly give me one of my core values, which is freedom. Why am I not leaning into that? Why am I not saying yes to that? Why am I not following that path that's laid out in front of me? Just because it's not part of the plan.

just because it's not the vision that I had. Also, by the way, this is not me saying that I'm going to stop coaching because I'm not. But I'm realizing more and more that speaking does give me the freedom and the impact, frankly, that I want. And it's almost like I've had resistance to it. It's like I've tried to keep it at arm's length up until this point. I didn't want to identify as speaker.

I didn't want that to be my primary thing. And I'm realizing like, why the hell not? Why am I not leaning into this thing that is working so well and that is frankly giving me a lot of fulfillment and a lot of freedom and a lot of the lifestyle that I kind of want for myself? Why am I hesitating? Why am I not stepping into that? Because it wasn't part of the plan? Because it wasn't part of the initial vision?

That doesn't make any sense, right?

Ellyn Schinke (15:02.85)

Like screw the plan, screw the initial vision. If I'd followed the plan.

up until now, I wouldn't be doing what I am now. I think that's what this event taught me is leaning in to me and to where I'm at in my business and perhaps where you're at in your career as well. It's about not getting so caught up in the minutia and the details that we forget to just say yes to the great opportunities that are in front of us to

follow the parts of the path and the plan or to follow the things that come up that aren't a part of the plan. But we see that path in front of us and we're intrigued by it and we're inspired by it and we're excited by it. And we realize it does align with our values. Sorry, I just hit my chin against my mic. I hope you didn't hear that. But like why we can't say no to those things. If everything that is coming up is good, if everything that's coming up is

motivating and fulfilling and aligned. We can't let it not being part of the plan deter us from saying yes.

And that's what I mean when I say lean in. What I'm leaning into is I'm leaning into the opportunities that are arising for me. What I'm leaning into is those little breadcrumbs on the trail that I didn't think I would want to follow because they weren't part of the vision and part of the plan. But I'm so damn intrigued and excited to follow them.

Ellyn Schinke (16:44.13)

That's what I'm leaning into. I'm leaning into, frankly, the parts of my business in my career that are thriving and that are working instead of resisting them because it's not how I thought my business would look. I'm leaning in to the thing that was unexpected.

but that is giving me that feeling that I wanted going into this year. I said in January, I want to go into 35th thriving. And this thing is really contributing to that. Speaking is really contributing to that.

And who am I to say no to that? Who am I to not follow that and to not thrive in that and to not lean into that? That's really what I took. I took tons of nuggets. I took so many notes, but I honestly feel like the biggest aha and mindset shift that came from this is I need to lean in. I need to lean into what my path has looked like. I need to lean in.

to the risks that I've taken along the way, even if they aren't risks that other people have taken or aren't the conventionally glorified risks, I need to lean into business and my career that is unfolding for me and not think it's not enough or not embrace it with open arms purely because it doesn't look the way I thought it would. That is what I'm leaning into.

And I don't know what gut feeling told me to share this today. I hope it resonated with you. Maybe there were little kernels in this that resonated with you and where you're at in your life. Maybe there are things that you, some of the things that you need to lean into that you've been resisting as well. And if there are, I hope that this resonated with you. And I hope that in listening to this, you A, know that you're not alone and B, take it as that little nudge to start to lean, to start to lean forward, to start to lean in and to start to go for it.

Ellyn Schinke (18:53.602)

to give yourself that damn credit, to pursue that damn thing, even if it's not the plan that you had for yourself. Because if it's intriguing, if it's exciting for you, that may very well be the next step that you need to take.