How to find CALM in the CHAOS - Especially Now...
“If you remain calm in the greatest chaos, it is the surest guarantee that it will eventually subside.”
Everytime I think about this year, this fall, the tumutuosness of it all, the word that always comes to mind for me is chaos.
It’s felt like chaos, hasn’t it? The sudden onset of the pandemic. The shuddering of so many of our favorite places. The crack down on the ability to see all the people we love. The shift in how we work and how we live. Everytime I feel like there’s some semblance of normalcy, something seems to shift, and the new chaos ensues…
Yup, chaos feels like the appropriate word. And now more than ever, burnout is rampant, isn’t it? I don’t know about you, but despite the carefully built boundaries and walls I’ve put up in my life and my word to help me protect my energy, my sanity, and my emotional stamina…sometimes those walls come crashing down.
It’s easy to bend and break the very rules that prevent us from burning out when there’s seemingly nothing else to do with our time and our lives.
It’s easy to work more when our computers are sitting there beckoning us and we have yet another night of no plans and the inability to go anywhere.
It’s easy to cloister ourselves inside when what we really need is to get outside, even if it’s just for a walk around the block - nothing fancy.
It’s all so easy when this the world that we live in now.
but it’s not the “new normal”…
how we were living before should never have been normal to begin with
Because let’s face it…the way we were living before was burning us out enough. And now we’re facing a new situation where it’s even harder to set boundaries and manage our burnout…
So, today I want to give you all some really straightforward tips to help you find your version of calm in the chaos…
1
cut off the stream of crap…
CUZ - BOTTOM LINE - WE ALL CONSUME TOO MUCH!
Don’t get me wrong…I’m super guilty of this too. We’re all so plugged in. We numb and drown our boredoms, frustrations…all the emotions in endless social media scrolling or watching TV and movie shows that we don’t actually get any joy or pleasure from watching.
But sometimes it’s not just that.
I had a client the other day who was spiraling. She was obviously burned out but we didn’t know from what. When I asked, she hesitated. But then the next thing I knew she launched into this list of triggers...
Newsletters...Social media...Conversations...
“It’s not one thing - it’s everything!” It was her stream of crap...
It's not the content that’s “crap"...it's the stream of it. And that we never take a break. It's crap cuz it makes us feel crappy...and burned out.
It's why you’ll sometimes find me sitting out on my balcony…in the November chill, bundled under a fuzzy blanket...taking a break from the crap.
Cuz here’s the thing - we all need a break + a pause from being so damn connected in this info heavy world of ours...
Even if the very thing we need to disconnect from (yes I’m going to say it) is politics…the news…or maybe even some of our relationships. Cuz it can be stressful AF and we’re not designed to be stressed all the time...
I’m not saying be uninformed. I’m saying make space. And have a plan to give yourself that space...
🏔Go for a walk in nature
📖Disconnect out on the deck (like me)
📱Turn off your phone and have a me day...
Just take a break and cut off the stream of crap…
2
give yourself a creative outlet outside of work
Do you know what your hobbies are...? Or what you like to do...?
When free time comes around, is it fun + joyful or is it a pain in the ass to just figure out how to spend it? Do you just default to either Netflix or WORK becuase it’s easier and gives you that hit of productivity?
I had a client who used to struggle with this exact thing. She knew she was a workaholic…and she didn’t want to be. But anytime something that could be classified as “downtime” cam along, she had no idea how to spend it. So, she defaulted to work…
But here’s the thing that I’ve realized…if you’re ever going to figure out who you are outside of work, if you’re ever going to figure out what you like, you’ve got to intentionally make time for it!
For example, I was running into an issue a few months ago. I had all sorts of things I liked to do outside to rejuvenate myself and to find some calm in the chaos of 2020 life…but what about when the weather was shit? Well, I really struggled then…
I brought this up with my business coach at the time when I was going through a particular period of burnout. What I was running into is that all my former favorite indoor activities after almost 6 months of quarantine just didn’t seem fun anymore…I was bored with my hobbies!
So, she said: “We need to find you a new hobbie then…” and started listing off a whole bunch of indoor activities I could do.
Calligraphy…
Writing…
Watercoloring or some other form of painting…
Sketching
Picking an area in my new city to go explore each week…
Learn guitar (since I have one that I don’t know how to play)…
Coloring in my adult coloring books…
There were a couple that as soon as she said them I had that nudge of “oh my gosh - that sounds so nice!” Watercoloring, sketching, and calligraphy in particular sounded creative and relaxing and I found myself so excited to start doing those things. But, importantly, I didn’t stop at “that sounds nice!” Instead, I made a plan.
The next day, I went out and bought the things that I would need to start. I bought some inexpensive watercolor paints and brushes, some watercolor paper, some graphite pencils for sketching and a sketch book. Next thing I knew, when I was bored at home, I didn’t default to the TV or movies like I used to - and which never filled me up…
Instead, I pulled out my watercolor paints and my ipad. My new hobbie became painting! And, surprise surprise…I’ve fallen in love with it!
So, that’s the takeaway here…dont’ just brainstorm what “could be fun to do”. Listen to your gut. What’s jumping out at you? What’s something you’ve always wanted to try? Hell, google “relaxing indoor activities” if you’re not finding something appealing. And then once you find what that thing is for you, you’ve gotta make the time…and you’ve gotta make it easy for yourself to do it by having what you need on hand!
So, what's ONE THING you can do to make more time + be more intentional about making time for your hobbies?!
3
root yourself in your routines…
On Sunday this week, I worked an 11-hour day at my day job. It’s uncommon. I have massive boundaries that usually prevent situations like this. But a lot of work and my people-pleaser tendencies kicked in hard. So, despite starting at 9am, at 8pm, I was still going. So, what did I do the next day? I slept until 9 am and spent my AM in complete self-care mode...
Years ago, I would've jumped straight from an 11-hour workday back into the grind. But I've learned the hard way why that doesn't' work. If we’re going to run ourselves ragged, we need to have the same care and attention to building ourselves back up. We need to offset the crazy chaos with some calm and relaxation…
It’s like hitting the reset button. And the easiest way to do that when every day feels like that is by focusing our energy on our routines.
Our routines + patterns have to sustain us. In work + in life. They HAVE TO or we're going to breakdown…and that’s never a pretty process
I love the notion that our routines root us cuz they REALLY do. They root us in the best versions of ourselves. The most motivated, the most focused, the kindest, the most energetic, the most fulfilled...
That's why I'm such a sucker for routines. It's why I'm obsessed with my morning + why I CREATED the Morning Mindfulness journal. Cuz it's what helps us feel our best...
So, in my recovery from a chaotic day, I leverage a finely tuned morning routine that I know will build me back up…
🧘 Meditating my ass off
📝Journaling and pouring my stresses out on the page
☕Doing my damndest to make every sip of coffee a mindful one
🏋️Moving my body to get all of those "I was in a desk chair all day" kinks out of my system...
Even on the days when I'm not 100% the best version of myself, they make me the best I CAN be...and that's the whole point. That’s what routines give us…
Some of the routines that you can set for yourself to create a little bit more calm in your chaos are - morning routines (#duh - my favorite), evening routines (to help you get ready to rest up for another day), a pre-work routine to organize yourself before a chaotic day…
Those 3 routines make a hell of a lot of a difference for helping you hit the reset button in life and in being the best version of yourself at work and in life. But, like anything, you might not get it right perfectly the first time. You’ll likely need to refine your routines over tme.
So, be patient! Routines that root us take time to build…
4
Meditate (or make some time for silence…)
I saw a quote once that said “we meditate to get good at life, not to get good at meditation…” and that’s really how I feel about it, too.
Meditation is something I discovered in Fall 2017. I fought against it for a really long time because I couldn’t shut my brain of. But, ultimately, I realized that the point behind meditation wasn’t to shut my brain off, it was to make some space in my life for silence and for, well, to not feel the need to produce…
Meditation allowed me to step into observer mode and just acknowledge the thoughts I have instead of reacting to them. It' became a time for be to just take some space to not think, which is so necessary for me with a hyper-active thinker.
But it doesn’t have to be meditaiton. Brene Brown calls it making “white space” in your day. And it can be anything so long as it gives you that silence and that space…
Why is this so important? Honestly, I’ve had my best moments of creation and productivity after meditating and after giving myself that space…and if that isn’t a reason for meditating than I don’t know what is.
Giving myself space in my day allows my brain to function more optimally. It allows me to be a better version of myself because I don’t feel the need to go go go and produce all the time. And that’s important…
In a previous podcast, I said: “I think if I didn’t do these two things, I might eventually course correct. I might eventually get there. But in the same manner as coaching and therapy, but those are two things that are going to help fast track you. It’s the same thing with meditation and journaling. You might be able to figure that out over the course of time. For sure! Life will teach you those things! But if you want to fast track that, if you want to have that sooner rather than later, these are practices that I find have helped me fast track my understanding of myself…”
bonus tip
focus on your sleep!
And not just the amount of sleep, but the quality of sleep. It’s something that we all know that we need but that we can still suck at making happen. We know we need to go to bed on time and yet we stay up late watching re-runs of shows that we don’t actually care that much about anyway. We all know we need good quality of sleep, and yet we don’t do anything about the light blaring on our face or our phone is pinging notifications right next to our head.
It’s all stuff we know we need to do but we don’t do it. So, here’s a quick run down to focus on:
Aim for 7-8 hours of sleep a night
Make sure your environment is dark, cool, and as quiet as possible
Make your room a device-free zone
BONUS: Take a magnesium supplement
BONUS: Lock in a pre-sleep routine complete with glass of herbal tea
