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Have you ever been SO burned out that just functioning feels like too much?

Today, this is all inspired by a very good friend of mine. I had posted something about how to know when you should quit and the next thing I knew, she was DMing me describing her situation. This is what she said…

I feel like she painted such a great picture. In so many ways, she’d done everything right. She was setting boundaries, asking for help, trying to take care of herself, but without any support at work, it felt like it was ALL too much.

So, this is what I told her to do…

1. Focus on the Present: I advised her to avoid fixating on the entire week ahead and instead concentrate on what's right in front of her. By breaking tasks down into smaller, manageable pieces, she can alleviate the feeling of paralysis.

2. Set Minimums: To prevent further overwhelm, I suggested that she identify the absolute minimum amount of self-care, socializing, and work she needs to accomplish for the day. By distinguishing between essential tasks and optional ones, she can prioritize effectively and reduce the pressure she puts on herself.

3. Breathing Techniques for Relaxation: I recommended that she practice breathing techniques to regulate her nervous system and alleviate burnout symptoms. I even shared a video with her, which provides a guided breathing exercise that can help her find a sense of calm amidst stress.

4. Brain Dumping: I encouraged her to do a brain dump by writing down all her thoughts, to-dos, or emotions onto paper or a digital document. This act of externalizing her thoughts can provide relief and clarity, allowing her to focus on the tasks at hand.

By implementing these tips, we can navigate through even the most intense, paralyzing burnout and regain control over her day-to-day life.

Podcast Transcript:

(00:08):

Hey there, achiever and welcome back to the Burnout Proof Podcast, where we're all about helping you build the mindsets, habits, and behaviors you need to burnout proof your life in business. My name is Ellen, and if you are a busy, overwhelmed Enneagram three achiever like I was, who is sick and tired of letting work run your life, you're in the right place here on burnout Proof. I'm committed to giving you simple no BS episodes that help you work less, live more, heal from your hustle and take back your life from burnout. Let's do this. Hello my friend, and welcome back to another kickass new episode of the Burnout Group podcast episode number, I think we're at 1 0 4 right now, and this episode, oh my God, it's inspired by conversations that I was having with a very, very good friend of mine, one of my very, very first clients we recently know, had a couple sessions together to help her navigate something that she was dealing with. And what we're gonna be talking about today is essentially short-term tips. When you are absolutely paralyzed by burnout and whether it gets in your business or you are in more of kind of a corporate life,

(01:16):

How do we handle those short term periods of really intense burnout? I'm gonna share the conversation. We had some of the tips that I gave her because you very well could be feeling this too. And if you are a business owner, you are somebody who is, you know, a side hustler, a solopreneur, you know, whether you are probably about been in business for about a year or two and things are getting bigger and you have more on your plate and you're just sitting there going, how do I do this? How do I build a business and build that success and create that momentum in my business without burning myself out? Head on over to coach ellen.com/course/waitlist and get on the wait list for my burnout proof business mini mind. It's gonna be happening very, very soon. I'm planning on starting it or launching it. I'm still trying to fully hash out dates as I record this, but get on over there, join that wait list because I show you all of my tricks for building a business that's burnout proof, you know, building a business that you can actually build when you are working a full-time job that you can create sustainability in, that you can create freedom in.

(02:16):

So again, head to coach ellen.com/course/waitlist to get on that. But let's dive into this. 'cause I wanna tell you a little bit, I really wanna get into like the nitty gritty of what was the conversation we had and what were some of the recommendations I gave her, because I'm sure she's not the only person that's experienced this. You may very well be in this right now. So my very, very good friend messaged me one day. I think I had posted something that Monday on Instagram about, you know, if you are in that mode and in that mindset where you're just like, I gotta quit. I can't do this anymore, I, I have to quit. And in her context it was a corporate career. She's in kind of an insurance background and she was just like, I cannot do this anymore. She felt like she hit a wall where she just had to get outta dodge.

(02:58):

And you know, whether you are in corporate or maybe you're a business owner, you know, business owners, they feel like often feel like that when they're just like, I can't do this anymore. I need to burn my entire business down. You know, they, maybe they're contemplating selling their business or going back to, you know, more of a nine to five job. You know, entrepreneurs can get into that state too, where it just feels like so, so much. And the DM she sent me, I'm gonna literally read it to you word for word, is do you have any short term burnout slash survival tips? I feel like I'm setting boundaries, telling people who should be able to help, that my workload is atrocious and something needs to give, exploring other options, taking care of myself, et cetera. So she's like sitting here, literally going, Ellen, I'm doing everything I'm supposed to doing to be doing, I'm asking for help and nobody is helping.

(03:43):

And then she says, but I am paralyzed and not sure how to get through the day ahead of me, much less the week. So this is the context. So if you are in that state, you are paralyzed, you are literally doing everything right, you are asking for help, you are, you know, maybe you're trying to hire support in your business, whatever it might be, but you're just looking at the day much less the week ahead and you're just like, how the hell am I gonna do this? Right? If you are in that state, here are a couple of the tips that I sent her and here are a couple of the tips that I would recommend to you. These are short-term tips when you are just paralyzed by burnout. And the first thing I said to her, and I think this is one of the most important things, which is why we're starting it with it, is don't focus on the rest of the week.

(04:31):

Now if you are looking at your week going, I don't know how I'm gonna get through this day, much less this week, much less this month, don't even focus on the rest of the week. Don't look too far in front of you. I literally told her focus on specifically what is in front of you. You know, do you have a meeting in front of you today? Do you have a client call in front of you today? You know that hour that's in front of you? What do you need to do? I find for a lot of us, the paralysis feeling happens, the feeling of just feeling so paralyzed. It happens when we're looking too far ahead and when we look too far ahead, that's when the overwhelm starts to set in because we haven't even figured out the next hour, let alone the next day, let alone the next week, let alone the next month.

(05:23):

And we start looking further and further and further ahead. And that overwhelm just builds like a snowball rolling down a hill. So if you are feeling this just like she was, don't focus on the week ahead, don't focus on tomorrow, don't even focus on later today, just focus on what is immediately in front of you and getting through that. So that's my first tip. My second tip is focus on minimums. I think this is another thing that we tend to do wrong, especially as Enneagram threes as achievers, is we feel like we have to be superheroes all the time and we have to be superhuman all the time and we have to just be firing on all cylinders constantly. And if we're not, we judge ourselves for it. But when you are in the state, when you are feeling that paralysis, like this person dmd me, like this good friend of mine dmd me, focus on the minimums, what's the absolute minimum amount of self-care you have the capacity for?

(06:26):

And again, just focus on today, you know, just focus on what's in front of you, what's the absolute minimum amount of self-care that you have the capacity for today. You know, I think one of the big things a lot of us do wrong is we have a way too narrow definition of what movement is. You know, movement is hitting the gym and getting in a 45 minute workout, but what if you don't have the capacity for that today? You know, true story this week that I'm recording this in, it's, I'm recording this the week after I'm getting back from back to back speaking trips. And actually as I record this, I'm going on another trip tomorrow. I've had about 10 days of not traveling. I know, right? My life is weird now. But I've had about 10 days of not traveling. And this week when I started this week, I was tired and I told myself, look, we're not gonna worry about getting to the gym this week.

(07:15):

All we're gonna worry about is every day you're gonna go on a walk and if you've got the extra capacity for it, you're gonna stretch too. That was the absolute minimum amount of self-care that I expected of myself. And actually today I'm feeling good and I might go to the gym and I might go work out, but the minimum I asked of myself is, you're just gonna go on the, on a walk in the morning. That's it. So what's the absolute minimum amount of self-care? What's the absolute minimum amount of socializing that you have the capacity for? You know, maybe you don't connect with that friend this week because your capacity is just tapped out this week. That's fine. Move it to the next week. If they're your friend, they will understand, you know, what's the absolute minimum of work that you need to get done?

(07:55):

Because corporate or business owner, so many of us put on our plate that isn't actually important for us to get done that day or that week. And that's why I think it's so important to kind of harken back to the first tip. Focus on just what's immediately in front of you and the minimum that needs to get done for that. You know, it's the, we've gotta step into the done is better than perfect mentality and we've gotta just focus on getting done what has to get done and not what we would like to get done. So what is the absolute minimum amount of self-care, socializing, work, et cetera, that you need to get done today in this moment, not what you would like to get done, what absolutely 100% has to get done because we can so easily overwhelm ourselves by turning the, I'd like to into the, this has to get done.

(08:49):

So tip number one, don't focus on the rest of the week. Focus on immediately what is in front of you. Tip number for two is to focus on the minimums. Tip number three, use breathing techniques to regulate your nervous system. I think I've recorded a podcast on this before, and if I haven't, what the hell am I doing? And I need to record one, but I'm pretty sure I talk generally about three main breathing techniques that I recommend when it comes to just kind of grounding yourself and resetting yourself. The one that I love, because it is so stupidly easy to integrate, is called the physiological side. I will go ahead and put a link to the video, the YouTube video, where the guy who I learned about this from teaches this. But it is so stinking easy and basically what you do is, you know how like you would after you fill up your car with gas, like some people like to top off their gas tank, they'll put like a little bit more gas in the tank.

(09:41):

The idea behind the physiological side is to basically do that when you're breathing. So take a deep inhale in and then a little bit extra at the top. So deep inhale and then a little bit extra at the top. And again, I'll link the video in the show notes. He, it's gonna be easier to see how to do it when you could see it as opposed to hearing me do it into the microphone. I don't even know how well you could hear that because my mic's really good and tends to cut out that background noise. But I really, really like that technique. And using breathing techniques to start to regulate your nervous system is gonna help get you out of that like fight, flight or freeze as best you can. Because when you are in this kind of a state, it might be really, really hard to completely get yourself out of fight flight or freeze, get yourself completely out of that sympathetic nervous system. And that's fine, but we just wanna use the breathing text to just start to regulate it. And then tip number four, brain dump a ton. You know, whether you are a digital person, an analog person, you love your notebooks, and whether you're brain dumping to-dos and tasks and ideas or emotions, when we are in the state, we've just gotta get it out of our brain. You know, whatever the concerns are, whatever the, you know, tasks that you're freaking out about doing are get them out of your brain.

(10:59):

It's gonna feel more dealt with. There is something about us taking something that we are thinking about and mulling over, and that is, you know, got us so in our heads and taking that and writing it down and putting it somewhere else that's out of our brain that just makes it feel more dealt with and unburdens our brain. So I tried to keep things really, really short and sweet today. So I'm just gonna rehash these tips really, really quickly for you. The first tip was don't focus on the rest of the week. Focus specifically on what's in front of you. Second, focus on the minimums, not what you have to do the rest of the week. Just the minimums. What, what is the minimum amount that you have the capacity for? Three, use breathing techniques to regulate your nervous system. And four, brain dump a ton.

(11:41):

And if you do these things as as it feels right now, you will get yourself through this moment and you will get yourself back on track. And that is ultimately all that it's about. Before you go, I just wanted to thank you so much for spending some time with me today. My goal and the whole reason I started this podcast is to put the things I'm learning and the ahas I'm having in the hands of the Enneagram three achievers like me who really need that because I know I'm not the only one who is sick of the cookie cutter BS of sleep more and quit your job, right? That's why I would love to hear what you took from today's episode. So go ahead and head over to Instagram, shoot me a dm, take a screenshot of the episode and tag me at Coach Ellen.

(12:22):

Again, that's E-L-L-Y-N. And if you haven't already, I would really appreciate if you would take a moment to subscribe to this podcast and leave us a rating and review. Last, but definitely not least, I know that we all know someone who is struggling with chronic stress and burnout. And if this podcast is helping you, it very well might help them too. So if you've got a friend or a loved one in mind, I, and I'm sure they would appreciate you sharing this podcast with them. Again, thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you so much my friend, and I'm so grateful you're part of the burnout proof community. Until next time, my friend, bye.

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