Everything You Need To Know BEFORE You Hire a Burnout Coach
Recently, I had the honor of being featured in a New York Times article about burnout coaches and burnout coaching…
But I’ll be the first to admit that this article was a little bit on the superficial side and not what I thought it would be. Frankly, it was surface level, from the quotes it pulled, the things that were highlighted. Heck, it talked about burnout in the same way that hundreds of other articles have:
Presenting the World Health Organization’s (lacking) definition
Highlighting the sheer volume of people who suffer from burnout
Discussing the lack of resources available for people who are experiencing burnout
Drawing attention to how ineffective previously used corporate strategies are
So, let’s DIVE DEEPER and let’s clear some things up in the form of some common FAQs…
Now, let’s Talk about the COMMON BURNOUT MYTHS…
I’d say “sorry” if I call you out on any of the beliefs, but I’m honestly not because we need to know that these things aren’t true. I felt as called on them as you might, but that’s an important step in our burnout recovery journey…
So, let’s check out some of these common burnout beliefs…
“If I find a new job, I won’t feel stressed/burned out anymore”. This is my least favorite piece of burnout advice. Quitting your job often doesn’t help.
“I just need to suck it up and it will go away.” Burnout recovery takes lifestyle changes and if we don’t make those changes, it likely won’t got away but get worse.
“It’s my boss/employer/co-workers/clients/businesses that is/are causing my burnout feelings and symptoms.” This is where the WHO does us dirty because they say that burnout is an occupation phenomenon and I disagree. Burnout is holistic.
“I’ll just take something to fix/treat this.” Taking time off is great, but when you’re a high-achiever, sometimes its your very habits, behaviors, and mindsets that are leading you to burnout.
“If I ‘slack off,’ relax, or let myself off the hook, I won’t reach my goals.” We’re so afraid that if we let off with the effort, the shame, the unrealistic expectations that we place on ourselves that we’ll become complacent. Honestly, more often than not we burn ourselves our in pursuit of not wanting to become complacent.
“I can only create the success I want if I hustle.” Hustle doesn’t work because it’s not sustainable. We cannot keep it up long-term and that’s the problem because we have unspoken expectations that we should be able to.
What are the Signs and Common Behaviors we Engage in When Trying to Cope with Burnout…
There are 4 different types of burnout, which I describe more here, but I’ll try to summarize some of the core signs and symptoms to look for (including the things we might say to ourselves) here:
Feeling exhausted all the time
Getting sick frequently (or having difficulty recovering from an illness)
Inability to turn off
“I turn my brain off when it’s time to fall asleep”
“I feel like I have too many tabs open in my brain”
Analysis Paralysis
Absolutely language (“always”, “never”, “every”, etc.)
Emotional reactivity (quick to tears or quick to anger/snappy at people)
An uptick in numbing behaviors—drinking, eating, cigarettes or other substance abuse, crappy reality TV, etc.
“I can’t bring myself to go out and socialize”
“I just don’t care anymore about ______” (apathy, disinterest, lack of motivation, etc.)
“I can’t do this anymore”
“I’m at the end of my rope/at wit’s end”
“I just want to get away”
Feeling a lack of challenge or engagement in your life/work
Feeling like you're "going through the motions"
Burnout is not prescriptive. You don’t need to have all of these to be experiencing burnout because burnout affects everyone in a unique way.
You could have the same business, job, or career as someone else and work the same number of hours, but the way in which burnout manifests might be different.