Dating Disasters: Saga of a Single Girl - The Good Ones...
We've covered Mr. Needy, who made me realize that guys have just as many insecurities as girls do while dating, but tried to dump all his insecurities on me.
We've covered The Game Player, who played the game and when he succeeded wouldn't take no for an answer. I naively put myself into what could have been a very BAD situation, and I learned a lot about what no to do.
Trust me, I have more stories...but before I get too discouraging (and trust me - these are as discouraging for me to write as I'm sure they are to read), I want to point out the fact that this experience hasn't been all bad. I've met some good guys too...
Note that I do give these guys teasing nicknames - it's all in good fun!
He was the VERY first guy I went on a date with online. We chatted a little online before we finally met up for a casual drink one Friday night. I was very optimistic about meeting him. He's cute, we had good conversation over messaging and text, and he seemed like a very genuine guy. All of that was still true when we went out for drinks.
The problem ultimately was that he was very awkward.
There were many an awkward pause on our first date, and he constantly seemed on edge and nervous. I get that with online dating, and with dating in general. It's stressful, and we all want to be liked! But, it was awkwardness that radiated into the realm of my wondering if he actually had any conversation topics of his own to bring up. He had lots of things in commons, along the lines of the movies we liked and some of our hobbies. But, we also had a lot of things that weren't in common, which is hardly a bad thing. There were definitely a handful of times where I wondered, am I going to be too much for this guy to handle?
The first date was nice. I wasn't blown away by him, but he seemed just as genuine, cute, and sweet as I had previously thought. So we set up a second date - dinner - for a week or so in the future. Again, I was excited to see him again, but more so that I was hopeful that he would loosen up a bit and come out of his shell for the second date.
Unfortunately he didn't. I felt even more like I was the only one bringing up things to talk about, and felt very little like he was asking questions and interested in my life! For me, that's a deal breaker. I want the conversation to go both ways. I want both parties to seem like they were interested. And this guy still seemed so uncomfortable, awkward, and on-edge that I realized I couldn't keep seeing him. I'm not outgoing enough to bring the outgoing-ness out of someone else.
So - that was it for awkward turtle.
You know?! From Pocahontas?!
I take no credit for this nickname. A friend of mine gave it to this guy after I was telling her that I was concerned he was too serious - and he didn't seem to ever smile and goof around. He eventually got to that point! I promise! But his nickname is still Kocoum.
He is still the reigning record holder for guy I've gone on the most dates with from online dating. And for good reason - because he's great!
We went on a casual dinner date, a movie date, and an absolute blast of a glow-in-the-dark mini golf and arcade games date! We got along, I enjoyed his company, we had good conversation, had a number of things in common, but also had a number of things we could teach each other. He's sweet, spontaneous, genuine, good with conversation, and after some of my previous experiences with guys from online, made me feel safe, comfortable, and never put any pressure on me. I genuinely very much enjoyed hanging out with him. Sounds great, right?
This is one of those one's that is hard to explain why it didn't work out.
Ultimately, it's because we didn't have physical chemistry from my opinion. When you're interested in someone, there's an inherent desire for contact, closeness, intimacy. You want that kiss good-bye at the end of the night. I never got that point with him. I guess I just really wasn't that physically attracted to him, which is odd because he is a good looking guy. I guess it's just that he wasn't my type. And that's kind of a hard thing to explain to someone when they ask why you don't want to go out anymore.
Attraction is attraction is attraction. Sometimes it just doesn't matter how much you like someone as a person. If the attraction isn't there, the relationship isn't going to work. At least that's my opinion. By the third date, I just didn't find myself getting to the point where I really wanted that kiss good-bye. And that was my red-flag. It is really too bad because there was nothing wrong with him, our relationship up to that point, etc. I just didn't feel the physical chemistry.
Fortunately for me, he has been very understanding. We text and talk and plan to hang out, as friends now. And I'm thankful for that!
See - they're not all bad online!
The "dating disasters" are much more entertaining, and probably juicier reads that this one was. But I thought it important to highlight that there are good experiences too! These were both great guys that for my own personal reasons and preferences things didn't work out with! Both taught me some of what I am and am not looking for in a relationship, and that in and of itself is a BONUS!
That's all for now! Never fear, though! I've got more crazy stories where these came from! I'll keep you posted!