Friends & Family Resources

Evaluating your relationships.

Who are you closest family and friends? List your top 5. Then, I want you to evaluate each relationship. What’s great about? What does this person bring to your life?

Then, I want you to ask yourself, what isn’t perfect about this relationship? What are some secrets you have with this person, or things that you don’t discuss with them? Why?

Your first thought may have been, “What?! I have a great relationship with them! I tell them everything.” But I really want you to dig deep with these relationships and ask yourself, is that truly the case? You can have a great relationship with someone, but still have certain things that you don’t discuss.

For example, one of my absolute best friends for a long time was someone that I had previously had an intimate relationship with. Once we stopped that part of our relationship, and even while it was going on, he was one of my closest friends! He knew everything about me, I told him everything, we talked about everything. To this day he is one of my best friends. But, to this day, he has no concept of how I feel about him, and that our previous intimacy lead me to developing feelings for him that I’ve never been able to shake.

Another example is my dad. For any of you that have spent significant time on my website and no my story, my dad and I have a history. I love him dearly, and he is one of my biggest supporters in my life. But, he is also someone who has invested a lot of his pride in me in my science. He brags to people about my PhD program, my publications, etc. As much as my dad loves me, and as much as he supports me, he doesn’t know that coaching is my primary passion and is becoming my career. I haven’t had the heart to tell him that his baby girl is giving up a career that he has invested so much of his pride in.

See? Even those close, amazing relationships that you have with people you love, who love you, who know you, who support you, can have some struggles, some obstacles, some things you need to overcome. But, for you to overcome these things, you need to address and understand them.


Getting clear

 

 

Ellyn SchinkeComment