Day 8 - Managing Confident Relationships

 
 
 

Day 8 - Managing Relationships

One of the places where some of us struggle with confidence is in our relationships. And this can be a tricky area. 

Firstly, we don't control all of the relationships in our life. Some of the people in our life are there because they are our family. We don't necessarily have a choice in who these people are. Now, you may be someone who has fantastic family relationships, but I want to acknowledge those people that have complicated relationships with their family. Additionally, relationships are a two-way street. You can control how you treat other people, but you cannot control how they treat you. 
I like to think of relationships like bank accounts. Each relationship starts with a balance. Not necessary the heftiest bank account in the world, but there's some money there. As time goes on, there are deposits and withdrawals that occur in this account. Hopefully, there are more deposits than withdrawals. But, for some relationships, that's not the case. For these kinds of relationships, if the account balance ever dips too low, into single digits or negative, it's time to re-evaluate that relationship. It times to ask, is it serving or is it costing you more than it's worth?

This is a loaded issue. I understand that. Especially because some of these relationships, as mentioned before, are with family. Regardless, these relationships need to be evaluated. 

So, today I want you to consider your relationships. I want you to assess the relationships in your life. What are the strongest ones? Who are the people who make a ton of deposits, who are always there for you and who you can be authentically you with? Write those names down. Now, ask yourself, who are the people you don't feel supported by? Who make far more withdrawals than deposits? Who leave you feeling insecure and judged? Write those names down too, or their initials if you're concerned about someone finding your paper. And ask yourself...is it time you walked away from these relationships?

I'm not asking you to cut people out of your life haphazardly. But the people we spend our time with dramatically affect our lives. Too often, we prolong toxic relationships. Perhaps it's time to get rid of a few.


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Ellyn SchinkeComment